Joined November 2024
- Tweets 5,883
- Following 124
- Followers 87
- Likes 6,289
612 Photos and videos
Jun 9
It's not over until I say it's over.
Elder Millennial weddings be like "come celebrate the start of their life together".
You're both 38, it's not starting, it's already over.
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Jun 8
My ex-mayor swatted a Twitter parody account.
Uhhhh, fucking something...Dan Fogelberg.
And Richard Prior set himself on fire.
#PeoriaPride
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Jun 7
Graham Platner will not play in Peoria.
Graham Platner releases map of donors from all 50 states who donated to his campaign since the NYT story broke:
#MaineSenate
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Jun 2
Prediction:
One of Platner's chud buddies that he got a Nazi tattoo with in Croatia is a MAGAT and is going to come forward after the Primary is over to confirm that Platner knew it was a Nazi tattoo the whole time.
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Jun 2
19 bookmarks...
C'mon lads, you can do better than that!
24 Nov 2025
When I give head, I put my fingers on the inner thigh so I can feel the femoral pulse to gauge if what I'm doing is working.
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Jun 2
We wrote a song about it that gets heavy play during our Independence Day festivities.
Favourite thing to come out of this stupid euro-yank discourse is yanks explaining how calling them a yank doesn't work and isn't annoying by explaining how much it annoys them
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Jun 1
Wait a goddamned minute...
The State of Illinois won't let me raise salmon in an indoor tank for personal consumption without an aquaculture license, but I can own A FUCKING MONKEY WITH NO RESTRICTIONS?
@GovPritzker @IllinoisDNR
One of these things has to change.
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May 31
69% of European women have vestigial tails.
May 31
The average European is born with gills.
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May 31
Soulless fire-crotched bog goblin says what?
They've locked the thread but it's good to see the few comments that got in that made them seethe
Dublin is a fucking shit hole the first thing we'll after the border poll is use giant scissors to cut those gerrymandering London simps off and float them to bongland
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May 30
Europeans talk shit about how rude Americans are and then have absolutely no answer to Fred Rogers (pbuh).
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May 30
>saying you'd take Prague
>TAKE
No, that's not what I said.
Pick != take
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May 29
Europeons be like: "Why don't the people in the red zones just build brick and mortar houses?"
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May 28
>Mac & cheese is an African American dish
THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS RETARDED DISCOURSE!
WATER IS A JEWISH DISH!
IN THE TORAH IT SAYS THAT THE HEBREWS WERE THIRSTY AND MOSES HIT A ROCK WITH HIS STICK AND WATER CAME OUT OF THE ROCK THEREFORE WATER IS A JEWISH DISH. NOBODY DRANK WATER BEFORE THAT AND EVERYONE WHO DRANK WATER AFTER THAT IS JUST COPYING OFF THE JEWS!
THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? NOBODY GETS TO ENJOY ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!
GODFUCKINGDAMNIT I HATE THIS RETARD PLANET!
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May 27
Of course I do...
"First, they issued a subpoena to the millionaire streamer and I said nothing because it's a fucking subpoena, you moron."
May 26
Do you not know how the original poem starts???
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May 26
Somebody needs to build your character.
May 25
Builds character.
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May 25
Imagine this person doing a book report on "The Old Man and the Sea".
>It was super boring and it didn't make any sense. It was just an old man talking to a boy; there was nothing about the sea in it at all. Hemingway should have called it "The Old Man and the Boy" instead.
This is smart. I hate all of the descriptions. Like I canโt even envision it and it is boring. Although, when I write I feel like I need to add stuff like that in to make a โgood bookโ ๐ข
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May 19
The problem with Elon's "Universal High Income" bullshit is the same problem with Communism.
It ultimately depends on the people at the top of the hierarchy waking up one morning and saying, "You know what? I'm tired of having infinite power and money. I'm just going to give it away, instead of building an army of robot dogs that shoot robot bees from their mouths.".
Power never concedes anything without force.
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May 18
"I was not ready to be a father."
Newsflash: No man ever is ready to become a father; not even the ones who think they are.
If you're not scared absolutely shitless by the time that first drive home from the hospital comes, you're an idiot or you're just larping.
That's what makes a Dad different from all other men. A Dad realizes that he is in completely over his head and then just does the best he can anyways, fears and uncertainties be damned.
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