Happy New Year, everyone! Just wanted to say a quick thank you for all the Fox Boy recap love and support this last year 🙏😌. It will never not amaze me that more than one or two kind souls are still reading them, and even more so that people actually wait for them to appear. 🫣🤯 Some (obviously deranged) people have asked if they can easily read the full recap back catalogue, so I’ve added them all onto my highlights tab (and I’m pretending my OCD is unbothered by the fact Twitter put two of the Wimby recaps out of order in the otherwise chronological lineup 😮‍💨😬). Anyway, thank you again, and bring on 2026! 🥳 According to the Chinese Zodiac, it’s the Year of t̶h̶e̶ ̶H̶o̶r̶s̶e̶ Little Miss Variety…

Just performing my annual tennis community service hours by willingly watching the servebot-athon Stuttgart final…

Say what you want about Aussies, but NO ONE supports their countrymen more passionately for two minutes every four years, in their fourth most popular ball sport, than we do… 😂🫶🇦🇺

I like that Daniil Medvedev always treats his opponents equally, regardless of their ranking. Whether you’re Jannik Sinner and #1 in the world, or Thijs Boogaard and #779 in the world, he’ll happily tussle with you the exact same way… 😂🤝

I mean, I don’t want to brag, but my right couch cushion should probably be listed alongside Jannik Sinner’s name on 4 Grand Slam, 10 Masters, and 2 ATP Finals trophies……

Watching grass tennis again after two months of clay, always has me doublechecking that I haven’t accidentally put the TV on x2 speed… 😂 🎾💨

A lot of big and valid feelings on the timeline today, as expected. Here’s some of my thoughts, for what little they’re worth. Firstly, I have been surprised by the number of people proclaiming Zverev “deserved” to win this title, purely to avenge his past defeats and injuries on this court. Personal feelings aside, I don’t believe ANY player (my favourites included) is ever owed a trophy, just because they are either in good form or have suffered heartbreaks. Zverev “deserves” this trophy, because he won 3 sets of tennis on the tournament’s final day, and no other reason. It is also an objective fact that this maiden GS title run could not have been luckier for him. Statistically, this season he is 0-5 against Top 10 opponents, and 3-2 against Top 20. So, to only face one Top 20 player all fortnight, is the ideal scenario for someone vastly underperforming against the sport’s most elite in 2026, and an undeniably large (if not the only) reason why he is finally a GS champion. However, it is ALSO an objective fact that GS titles are not weighted by opponent difficulty. You can only play against the competitors presented to you, and your title is no less valid in the history books if you faced players #1-7 or players #100-107. With regards to the off-court controversies, it is no secret I have never been first in line for admission to the Zverev fan club. I am not at all enamored by his typical readiness to accept 100% of the credit for victories, and deflect 100% of the blame for defeats. And, like many, I was sickened and disappointed with the violence allegations leveled against him. However, I also know exactly how difficult it is to both come forward, and then receive justice for, these kinds of claims, and was therefore not surprised by the lack of conclusive outcome in this case. What I do find intriguing is that some of the most vehement TT defenders of the German, are also some of the most vehement critics of a redheaded Italian. Interestingly, these individuals find the ATP’s vague “insufficient evidence”statement on Zverev’s case, and subsequent failure to release a full report of their findings, after 15 months of investigation, to be conclusive and satisfactory proof that he is innocent. Yet, they ALSO find the 33-page report outlining in excruciatingly specific detail the exact circumstances around Jannik Sinner’s contamination, to be woefully insufficient evidence of his innocence, and just an exercise in cover-up from the establishment. Put bluntly, the nature of his legal settlement/deal means there will never be objective certainty of Zverev’s guilt or innocence. Therefore, expecting his tour colleagues to adopt a definitive stance against him is unrealistic (although I have also never been prouder that NOT ONE of my favourite players has publicly acknowledged his win……. yet 🙂‍↕️🤝 ). For me personally, either outcome this match would not have achieved a sense of justice, because tennis results rarely adhere to any moral code. Thus, whilst I will never root for Zverev’s successes, neither will I lose sleep over them. So, all in all, another dirt season is concluded, whether fairly or unfairly in the eyes of the tennis community, and now it is time for everyone to (literally) get back to touching the grass. 💚

Congratulations to whichever player will win their first GS title today, and also congratulations to the people who have started and finished school, and those who have birthed and raised families, in the time since Roland-Garros began. 👏

Everyone in the tennis world is still debating about, and analysing to death, a single match loss that happened more than a week ago. Meanwhile, Jannik Sinner:

FYI, if any international conflict negotiators are looking for a new peace tactic, I can confirm that gifting Sascha Zverev a clear pathway to GS glory, is an unorthodox, but HIGHLY effective, strategy for unifying fans who have been at war for years……. 🤝😂

Look, I am an absolute sucker for a Cinderella story, regardless, but I also watched this match and really loved Maja Chwalińska’s game and attitude. 😍 Will officially be rooting for her to finish this dream run with a trophy!🤞 🏆 And, full disclosure, Maja, based on how my love and support has assisted the rest of my favourites so far this tournament, having me in your corner will do absolutely nothing for you - but it’s the thought that counts… 😂 x.com/rolandgarros/status/20…

Anyone else find it strange that Grand Slams normally last 15 days, but this year’s Roland Garros is apparently being held over 468 days? 😅

Tennis Twitter talking about this year’s #RolandGarros is a lot like kindergarten kids chatting at lunchtime. So many wildly inaccurate takes, said with so much confidence… 😂

This looks like a #RolandGarros official had the men’s draw open on their computer, and their toddler walked over and just started pushing buttons…

Jannik Sinner RG R2 Recap: Once upon a time, in a land quite near, lived a young maiden called Cindernik. Cindernik was good and kind, and had the best hand-eye coordination in all of the land. She worked very hard, day and night, hitting small yellow balls over a net. Unfortunately, she also had two evil stepsisters, called Oppressive Heat and Victorian Child Constitution, who were jealous of her talent, and worked hard to make her life as difficult as possible. One day, Cindernik received an invitation to attend a ball at the magical Roland Garros palace. She had dreamed of attending for a long time, as she knew that the King and Queen awarded a golden trophy to the fairest maiden who could best connect a ball and a racquet. However, her jealous stepsisters forbid her from attending, and locked her in a Parisian hotel room. Luckily, Cindernik had four fairy godparents, who planned to help her attend the ball, without her stepsisters finding out. So, they freed her, swapped her usual blue hat for a white one, and changed her name to “Little Miss Variety”, to ensure she would not be recognised. However, Ale-Alejandro warned her that she MUST enter the Round 3 ballroom before the clock struck 2pm, or her disguises would fade, and her evil stepsisters would recognize and punish her. Little Miss Variety smiled and nodded excitedly, and promised the fairies that she would be careful. However, she was having such a wonderful time in the Round 2 auditorium dancing to the serve-and-volley, blowing sweet drop shot kisses, and nibbling on delicious passing shot canapés, that she forgot to watch the time. She was preparing one final twirl of her racquet, before she entered the Round 3 ballroom and the start of her happily ever after, when the palace clock began to toll ominously. Cindernik panicked, and swung her racquet wildly, but it was too late. Her evil stepsisters materialised out of thin air, and immediately turned her legs to jelly so she couldn’t flee into the safety of Round 3. Cindernik pleaded with them to let her go, and tried to fight her wobbly lower limbs by using her racquet as a walking stick. Her stepsisters merely laughed wickedly, and even toyed with her by lifting the hex for a few seconds at a time. Cindernik’s sweet little mice friends tried desperately to help her, and even brought ice towels to try and freeze the curse, but the black magic was just too powerful. Finally, Cindernik’s legs wobbled and gave out one last time, just four steps away from the Round 3 ballroom, and the entrance door slammed shut in her face. As their sibling collapsed in defeat, her stepsisters cackled delightedly, and then clicked their fingers and vanished. Cindernik’s fairy godparents could only watch on sadly from afar. The lead fairy, Vagno, grumbled that their young charge never listened to their advice, and he should not have even bothered reading “Happily Ever Afters for Dummies” to try and help her. His sidekick, Papa Darren, reassured him that they could try again next year, when Cindernik’s stepsisters would hopefully be travelling abroad. With the jelly-legs spell finally broken, Cindernik dragged herself up out of the dirt and back home. She sighed sadly as she packed her beautiful blue ballgown away, but she knew there would be another Roland Garros ball, and her evil siblings would not stop her from attending this one, meeting a handsome trophy, and living happily ever after. The End . . . . Fairytale plagiarism aside, Fox Boy’s unexpected early loss was a tough pill to swallow. 😢 But, it takes nothing away from the objective fact that his dirt season has still been a resounding success. So, for now, it’s just an extra vacation week in the Maldives, and then back to the hunt for more happily-ever-afters on the grass and the cement. 💪 So, rest up, Fox Boy, and we’ll see you back on the green stuff soon - bring on the Wimby whites! 🤍💚💜 FORZA. 🦊🧡

They say you learn more from losses than from victories, and it’s true. For example, Jannik Sinner lost a match, and just 24 hours later, I could give a TED talk on the MC1R gene.

In 2023, Jannik Sinner lost in R2 of Roland Garros, and the next day, changed his entire service motion. In 2026, Jannik Sinner lost in R2 of Roland Garros, and from tomorrow, will be changing his primary training location to Mt Vesuvius.

Absolutely gutted for you, Jannik, but so proud of your fight. 🩵🦊 I know we all have a lot of big feelings right now, but please remember that it is still just a tennis match, and there will be many more. Always behind you, Fox Boy. 💪

Jannik Sinner RG R1 Recap: The RG organisers had their most controversial scheduling moment to date, when they bizarrely elected to put the 3x fan favourite and current World #1 who is on a 29-match win streak and also playing against a French opponent in a French tournament, into the primetime evening slot on Philippe-Chatrier. Honestly, if that MINDBOGGLING decision doesn’t SCREAM establishment corruption, I don’t know what does… Cindernik revealed her brand new kit, and the mice and birds had clearly been hard at work creating this powder blue masterpiece.👗🩵 Interestingly, Boss Baby has decided to dress his ̶p̶r̶i̶s̶o̶n̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶ team in matching ballgowns to his own, presumably so that if they try to escape at any point this fortnight, they can be easily tracked down and recaptured. Fox Boy’s first opponent was Clément Tabur, a local wildcard ranked 165 in the world. And, remarkably, that number was still significantly lower than his heart rate appeared to be in the tunnel pre-match… 😅🙃 Perhaps sensing his nerves, the carrot took it upon himself to welcome his French rival to Philippe-Chatrier, by allowing him to win the very first point of the match…….…. and, of course, then taking the next 8 points for himself. 🙄 The ginger then gave Tabur a 30-minute guided tour of the PC baseline, and even gifted him a souvenir baguette at the end. 🥖 The Frenchman had well and truly settled into the match and his #1 opponent by the second set - so, that meant he was broken once, generated zero break points of his own, was only locked up in backhand jail for 98% of the set, managed to hit 5 winners to Fox Boy’s 18, and only lost the set 6-3… Cindernik had her toughest service game at the start of the third set to hold 1-1. The crowd sniffed a 0.0000000001% chance of a local victory, and so adopted the famous French approach of providing a polite and respectfully muted applause before, during, and after points. 👏🤫 After being elected the ATP Fan Favourite for three straight years, Jannik took the opportunity to repay his carrot fans mid-match, by kicking off a play-along-from-home Charades game. For his first clue, he brought up three match points at 5-3 on Tabur’s serve, before giggling and squandering all of them. As guesses of “PTSD!” and “Worst 5 hours and 29 mins of my life!” and “The reason I can’t play Mario Kart anymore!” rang out, the ginger confirmed that, yes, his game card did say “8th of June 2025”. Not content with merely torturing his beloved fans with traumatic flashbacks, Cindernik also took the opportunity to summon the physio at 5-4. Once again, as blood pressure monitors beeped wildly around Italy, he simply launched his 8563rd edition of “Money can buy everything…. except a spare pair of scissors for the racquet bag”. Yes, after 30 seconds of physio bromance, and 0.05 seconds of actual tape-snipping treatment, it turns out that Ale-Alejandro had once again simply wrapped the carrot tootsies too tightly… 🙄 Now, everyone knows that Cinderniks turn into pumpkins if they’re not horizontal on a mattress before midnight, so Fox Boy took his newly-freed tootsies and ran off to close the match out 6-4, next game. Post-match, the tennis journalists had meticulously planned out their one query each, and so took the opportunity to ask the burning question on every fan’s lips - does the carrot fall asleep each night dreaming of finally getting his ass handed to him on an opponent’s silver platter? 🤔 Of course, the ginger quickly confirmed that he is far too chillingly malevolent to indulge in fanciful little things like “dreams”…. Finally, next up is an extremely tough and unpredictable opponent, known as “the sun”. Inside sources say, as the underdog, he is preparing to come out absolutely blazing tomorrow. So, good luck, and don’t be afraid to throw some shade back, Jan… 😉 FORZA. 🦊🧡

You know you’re good, when the crowd cheers for your opponent just holding his own serve, like he’s lifting the trophy… 😂 Bravo, Jannik. 💪🦊 …….. Also, we’re in 2026 now, so let’s just convert any match points on this court first time around, yeah? 😅