Comedian, lover, distracted driver

Joined October 2021
44 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
21 Dec 2021
Maybe if I just tweet enough I’ll be happy inside?
1
12
Democrats could’ve stopped already ICE but you ignored their last text for $5
12
Doctors in the 20s: “What’d you say your name was again? Lou Gehrig? We’ll call it that!”
22
“This must be what it was like to March on Selma” -me making a beautiful woman laugh
14
I’ve never met someone above 5’7” who supports ICE
11
This Venezuela stuff making me start to think Trump didn’t really deserve the FIFA Peace Prize
42
19 Dec 2025
Me going up to a woman breastfeeding: is this guy bothering you?
17
15 Dec 2025
ACAB includes buzz lightyear
18
13 Dec 2025
What do you think Asher Roth is doing rn?
15
Still my favorite Juno position
42
Spotify said my listening age is 6,666,666 years old does anyone know what that means? I mostly listen to Aztec death whistles, the incantations of Moloch, and Sabrina carpenter
55
Truly embarrassing if your Spotify wrapped age is younger than your age. Okay little fella tell me again how The Wiggles are better live
54
Zohran cheated by appealing to New Yorkers desire to afford food and shelter
24
I think I speak for the entire board of Blackrock when I say I am very disappointed with the election of Zohran Mamdani
19
17 Sep 2025
“Your honor, I move for a recess”
20
11 Sep 2025
*record scratch* “I’m sure you’re wondering how I got here”
43
10 Sep 2025
I’ll be honest I didn’t expect this from Alec Baldwin
1
35
10 Sep 2025
Kirked up white boy with a little bit of swag gets bust in the neck sexual style is he goated with the sauce?
59
26 Aug 2025
“Huda Mustafa” sounds like a racist guy trying to remember the name of the actor who played Black Panther
80
E’b retweeted
You see lots of guys with a “mom❤️” tattoo never see anyone with a dad tattoo or even better an Unc tat ❤️ like and share if you agree ❤️
2
8
172
12,182
Every first date I say something pro-Palestine and do Indian voice just to make sure our values align
41