I guess this makes Venezuela Gaul then.
America is Rome, Iran is Carthage, and this was our First Punic War.
People have been brainrotted by Paradox games and think a war that doesn't end in total defeat for one side is a "loss." They have no conception of a war fought for reason other than governmental overthrow or territorial gain. The fact that Iran and their proxies have been allowed to flood the Internet with straight-up lies isn't helping (and just proves that wartime censorship is justified).
Iran has been militarily destroyed. They've been proven to be unable to close the Strait, which was never closed until the Navy blockaded it. Their "power" was revealed to be smoke and mirrors and everyone from Lloyd's of London to the Retard Right was revealed to be cowards in thrall to a pirate state that had its shit ruined by the greatest nation in the world. To paraphrase Michael Collins, how the hell did these people get an empire?
The lifting of sanctions and reconstruction funds will come with strings attached. The funding will come from our Gulf allies and it will all be conditioned on Iran opening up its economy to American firms. No more "stealth tankers" selling oil to China at below market rates. No more funding groups like Hezbollah or the Houthis. No more washing money for the Democrats via mafia agreements like the JCPOA. Iran has been neutered in the same way Saddam Hussein was after the Gulf War and will basically exist at America's mercy going forward. (BTW, in the Treaty of Guadelupe Hidalgo, which ended the Mexican-American War, we paid Mexico $15 million [$630 million today] to compensate them for taking 2/5ths of their territory. I guess we actually lost that war. Huh.)
If Twitter had existed in 1814, we'd have the equivalent of Tucker Carlson and Megyn Kelly claiming the Treaty of Ghent was a HUMILIATION. "But we didn't even get any territory!" Not the point. The War of 1812 set the stage for American dominance of the Western Hemisphere by forcing Britain to abandon its hostile stance towards the U.S. They abandoned their forts in the Northwest Territory, stopped supporting Indian insurgents like Tecumseh, and recognized the Louisiana Purchase as rightful American clay. More importantly, in every subsequent border and diplomatic conflict of the 19th century, the British sought peace rather than war. They had achieved THEIR objective in 1812---holding onto Canada---and in every subsequent territorial dispute, they folded to American demands because they knew the cost of war was too high.
We had our own treason lobby during the War of 1812 that was openly sucking up to the British in the way the Retard Right sucks up to Iran, Russia, and China. The New England states opposed the war, Rhode Island continued trading with Britain in violation of a federal embargo, and the Federalists endorsed secession in the Hartford Convention. Unfortunately, most Americans didn't agree with them, and when news of the Treaty of Ghent and Battle of New Orleans reached the East Coast, the Federalists were exposed as cowards and traitors. Just like the "antiwar" Retard Right is being exposed now.
Much like Britain in 1814, Iran is being forced to abandon its hostile stance towards the U.S. because the cost of fighting us is too high. The fake "closure" of the Strait caused gas prices to go up slightly in the U.S. It caused shortages and pandemonium in Europe and Asia. It resulted in the total destruction of Iran's military, which they will now have to spend decades rebuilding. Iran lost everything and all they did was mildly inconvenience the American Empire, like attacking the AI in AI WAR too early only to get your ass flattened in two minutes. The death of the aged corpse Khamenei set Iranian leadership down an unavoidable path of peace with America, on America's terms.
The First Punic War resulted in Carthage only ceding a small amount of territory to Rome, but it permanently crippled their finances, sparked off a devastating civil war, and resulted in Rome dominating the Mediterranean for centuries. The Second and Third Punic Wars were a fait accompli at that point. America is Rome, Iran is Carthage, and the entire world belongs to us.