save a generous slice for me
Joined September 2011
- Tweets 9,600
- Following 544
- Followers 209
- Likes 10,876
638 Photos and videos
14 Nov 2025
I’m still booling
14 Nov 2025
Nobody bools anymore. In high school everyone was booling
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13 Sep 2025
Okay that’s enough (I am deleting the Twitter app off my phone)
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seed oil kwisatz haderach retweeted
12 Sep 2025
went on a first date and I asked him what his favorite food was and he said “cookies”
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1 Jul 2025
I can sniff out people who carry large karmic debts like a bloodhound
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30 Jun 2025
As someone with a brain I can confirm that listening and seeing are two different senses
Can I say something? I have a BA in psych, a BPhil in linguistics, and went to grad school for cognitive psych. My research, including an undergrad fellowship, was on the cognitive relationship between written and spoken language…
Audiobooks are NO DIFFERENT than reading print.
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30 Jun 2025
You can’t use ai to sit in a truck bed driving through the mountains
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6 Jun 2025
Everything here is within the past 3 months bros attention span is cooked
5 Jun 2025
Top 10 days in Twitter meme history, ranked:
10. Moo Deng
9. Raygun the Australian breakdancer
8. Trump getting shot
7. Hawk Tuah
6. Peanut the squirrel
5. Chicago Pope
4. 100 dudes vs 1 gorilla
3. Trump working at McDonald’s
2. Scottie Sheffler getting arrested
1. Today
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1 Jun 2025
Are streamers just permanent middle schoolers
1 Jun 2025
Stable Ronaldo might’ve just made the longest homemade Slip’n’Slide in the world 😭😭
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27 May 2025
Yes bless me
26 May 2025
Any finger that touches this, your finances will triple in June.
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seed oil kwisatz haderach retweeted
26 May 2025
Any finger that touches this, your finances will triple in June.
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21 May 2025
I’m applying for jobs at defense contractors idgaf anymore I need a bag
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seed oil kwisatz haderach retweeted
13 May 2025
BREAKING NEWS: Every finger that touches this post will receive good news in JUNE!!!
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5 May 2025
It warms my heart to know I have kissed a Shenzhen vape factory worker through plastic ❤️🌎🌏
5 May 2025
Factory workers in Shenzhen test as many as 10,000 vapes each day.💨
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22 Apr 2025
I hate this style of writing so much. It tries to be all punchy and I’m pretty sure I have 5 paragraph essays from 5th grade where I wrote like this. Grow up
22 Apr 2025
Most people think a pope dies, and that’s it. Funeral, mourning, next man up.
But what actually happens behind Vatican walls?
It’s one of the oldest and most secretive rituals in the world. And it just got triggered. 🧵👇
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17 Mar 2025
Okay that was a nice return to Twitter for a few weeks goodbye internet strangers
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15 Mar 2025
Facts
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12 Mar 2025
Use this sparingly
12 Mar 2025
BloodClarting Diarrhea Ass Pussy Bitc h
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8 Mar 2025
I have a feeling someone will try during the summer
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