Joined July 2011
- Tweets 2,705
- Following 142
- Followers 110
- Likes 976
105 Photos and videos
28 May 2021
happy birthday @Daniel_Jones10 sorry I missed it yesterday buddy I haven’t been on Twitter in over a year!!!
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25 Jul 2020
Colbie just came up to me with her piggy bank and said “this is my money to give to Target”
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28 May 2020
Shelby went to town on this week’s lesson plan! Learning about animals and whatnot. lets goooo 🐯🐼🦁🦓
30 Apr 2020
I keep getting emails from “Miss Shelby” and I wonder if she knows she’s added me to her classroom email group?? Anyway, she’s got some great at home activities lined up for next week so I’m pumped we’re in her class now!
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18 Apr 2020
Told Colb I needed to make a cup of coffee and she said “no you need a beer” and ran to the fridge. She brought me back a ginger ale but it was the thought that counts
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9 Apr 2020
Colbie just asked if we could watch the Office. My duties in parenting are complete, she’s ready for the real world
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31 Mar 2020
Leaving your full shopping cart in the check out lane to save your own spot while you go grab once last thing is a dick move🤬🤬
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26 Mar 2020
Whoever is on this conference call right now playing with their dog and it’s squeaky toy PLEASE STOP
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24 Mar 2020
One exciting thing about working from home is I get to hear my neighbors fighting outside of my window every day!
21 Mar 2020
I wish Colbie would stop referring to me as “sister mommy”. I’m not your sister and I’m not giving you one, sorry kid
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19 Mar 2020
Colbie made me buy corn dogs the other day and she has yet to eat one so here I am, quarantined and officially working from home, getting fucking fat on corn dogs what is life
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16 Mar 2020
At least the NFL offseason and free agency isn’t cancelled! The NFL app has been blowing me up all day!
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2 Mar 2020
Finally pushed my luck too far and ran out of gas and my car shut down. This is really cool, happy Monday
12 Feb 2020
Leaving work after 5 and it’s still light out!! Slowly but surely approaching a temporary end to my seasonal depression🌞
11 Feb 2020
I dare everyone to try standing their brooms up next month so you’ll all realize it still works and you’re a dumbass
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