@fwtimini profile picture
πŒ• @fwtimini

Take me personal.

Joined October 2024
  • Tweets 24,073
  • Following 568
  • Followers 24,192
27 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
πŒ•
@fwtimini
7 Sep 2025
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.
391
15,765
90,824
1,947,485
You won’t even spend recklessly. You’ll just cover basic things like transportation, feeding, data, and clothing, and it’ll still feel like you mismanaged your money.
1
3
235
β€œTherapy doesn’t work for me.” Ok, well, I hate to break it to you, but the mental illness isn’t working for you either.
1
8
366
Me showing up to work after realising giving 110% gets you the same paycheck as Kevin who "forgets" to do his job:
11
271
Me on Wikipedia finding out that an indie artist has famous parents.
1
2
3
323
I overheard a teenager at the library desk ask if she could get a card. The clerk said she’d need proof of address. The girl shook her head. β€œWe don’t have one right now.” The clerk reached under the counter. β€œThen here’s a temporary card. You can still check out books.”Some systems prevent you from stepping through the door to a fulfilling life. Libraries hand you the key.
2
2
244
Lost my job to Al (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).
1
1
6
297
Having a fully functioning body is such an underrated privilege. Legs that work, eyes that can see, hands that can move… it’s all a blessing. Take care of it.
1
2
17
463
what’s a completely normal thing other people do that you cannot for the life of you figure out how to do?
167
29
450
4,637,891
x.com/i/status/2064389412083…

πŒ•
@fwtimini
Jun 9
Ok, this is seriously terrifying….
3,880
Ok, this is seriously terrifying….
CrowdReply
@Crowdreply_io
Jun 9
Introducing Searchmaxxing. The new discipline for being visible everywhere AI looks. Across all platforms. This is how big brands cheat. RT comment β€œSEARCHMAXX” and we’ll send a free report if you’re getting mogged by your competitors
0:47
3
151
155
2,544
Losing ur appetite bcs u’re feeling sad is a whole different level.
2
9
376
Me: how do I do my taxes Public School: shut the fuck up and square dance
1
3
513
I’ve never understood the β€œwe hate all landlords” wave. You expect to live in people’s shit for free? Actually, housing should be free.
1
9
545
That loud whistle people do with their fingers in their mouths.
πŒ•
@fwtimini
Jun 7
what’s a completely normal thing other people do that you cannot for the life of you figure out how to do?
585
17,997
186,282
4,542,773
My body is NOT a temple; it's a storage unit for my regrets.
1
8
574
β€œHell yes” is an insane thing for my iPhone to keep thinking I want to type.
6
611
There are no open seats in this waiting room, but don’t worry, a rich man has a chair reserved for his jacket. I asked if I could sit and he said β€œthe jacket is there,” so I sat on it. He immediately snatched it out from under me and went off to complain. I love this for him.
2
11
566
Being shy when you're actually freaky as hell feels like a cruel joke.
1
11
1,050
Cracked a joke to my therapist, she sighed and started writing in her notebook......Bitch is trying to steal my joke.
2
1
6
643
The funniest people I’ve ever met don't even tell jokes they literally just be talking normal.
8
27
979
Load more