"Chim, I'm sorry i can't come into work today Theo has salmonella and has been throwing up for the past 12 hours"
"that's okay man, good luck... don't let him eat the raw cookie dough next time"
"he didn't."
"what? how did he get salmonella then?"
"... he licked a turtle"
Theo getting salmonella cause he found a turtle and his first reaction was to lick it and Buck explaining to everyone what happened with the most deadpan, tired, not surprised look a father has ever worn (true story i did this as a child)