Feeling like a “bad mom” came up last week in the BPD circles. So did the topic of guilt. I think guilt can be a mover and shaker… If we direct it to valuable action, that is, instead of despising ourselves into destruction. What good does that do you, or your child? What’s going to help you be a better mom today, right now? Not the best mom. Not the perfect mom. Just a little bit better today, this moment, for them. What’s going to teach them how to deal with their own guilt one day, with honor, and integrity? Do that thing. Model that thing. So much more rewarding in the end than l diatribes of death and destruction. #bpd #bpdrecovery #lifeworthliving

For a lot of people, nature is suicide prevention ❤️ Try it out #bpd #bpdrecovery

There’s a lot of variation in how people refer to, think about, or address BPD. There is no one right approach. I’ve seen all kinds of remission stories. But I think the “wrong” approach, or shall I say the unhelpful one, is to either consider yourself eternally broken by the problem, or avoid identifying the problem and overcoming it, building an existence you are passionate about. Whatever approach you choose, build a life worth living, I say. 🫶 #bpd #bpdrecovery

“How do you handle all the backlash on your BPD posts?” 1. Post what you want to say. 2. Ignore the trolls. 3. Go live your best life. 4. Repeat tomorrow. #lifeworthliving #bpdrecovery

💛 You’re not broken — your nervous system is just trying to keep you alive. This page explains it so gently: Those big reactions, shutdowns, and spirals aren’t proof that you’re “too much.” They’re your highly sensitive survival machine doing its job… just on old, overly sensitive settings. Understanding this is the beginning of real self-compassion and healing. You’re not malfunctioning. You’re protecting yourself the only way your system knows how. #YouAreNotBroken #NervousSystemHealing #SomaticHealing #AmygdalaHijack #BPDRecovery #EmotionalRegulation #TraumaInformed #SelfCompassion #HealingJourney #NervousSystemRegulation #YouAreSafeNow #MentalHealthTools #GentleHealing #SurvivalMode #SomaticBPD

I was all set to begin applying to Ivy Leagues, perfect GPA, excellent SAT scores, extracurriculars to fill a book, toured Harvard and Yale and Princeton. But mental illness was going to kill me, so I was taken to a program in the wilderness of Montana in the middle of the night, where I stayed for 7 months under lock and key. I missed the deadline for applications, the Ivy League plan fell apart, but in the process I met the women who would shape my life’s purpose, and the doctor who would equip me with the ability to live it out. If I’d made it to Yale, I don’t think I’d be alive. Not all detours are bad. ❤️ #bpdrecovery #suicidedidntwin

Had the best shower of my life tonight, ate a brisket sandwich the size of my face, and led a BPD group on the topic of dialectics. 20 years ago on a Monday, I’d be crying hysterically into my pillow, burning my bridges, shoving pills down my throat, and planning my own death. So you see, there could be a different life ahead of you. One you can’t picture right now. Keep fighting, warrior. Even if you can’t see why yet. Keep going 🫶 #bpdrecovery #lifeworthliving

Wrapped and ready, all plugged in! 🔌 It’s surreal to see myself in the mirror right now… like a bald man in mascara. But it’s even MORE surreal to see a smile on my face, instead of fear, discouragement, or hopelessness. And it’s because of mental health recovery. 🙏❤️ Recovery didn’t give me a life with no problems in it. Obviously. It did something else. It handed me the tools to find gratitude, to find acceptance. It opened my life up to allow the beauty in, even when the tough tests come around. I wouldn’t trade that for all the healthy brain waves in the world. #recoverylife #bpdrecovery #lifeworthliving

One of my peer groups is starting a new round of DBT skills today. Our goal: contribute to a life worth living. What better way to prepare for our first meeting than practicing what I preach. Life is precious, and worth all our effort to live it to the fullest! 💪💕 #bpdrecovery #peersupport #dbtskills #lifeworthliving

Watch the sun come out and kiss this baby crab on its way back to the sea. Nature is good for the soul. 🫶 #bpdrecovery #lifeworthlivingtips

I played bingo with a bunch of old retired women last week. It was the first sense of normalcy I’d felt, truly, in years. Imagine a bunch of short curly gray hairs flipping each other off over who wins the $1 lotto ticket. No one looked at cell phones. People shared stories with each other. Laughed. Drank sodas. Smoked cigarettes. Played 50s music. Little slice of heaven. If you’re in despair, and ready to jump off a bridge, you have nothing to lose. Go to Saturday bingo at the bowling alley and remember what it’s like to truly LIVE. #bpdrecovery #suicideprevention #lifeworthliving

“My therapist is so wonderful and so validating” is not necessarily the sign of a good therapist. “My therapist is so wonderful and hurts my feelings frequently” is probably more like it 😅 #bpdrecovery

It's at this point we know... we're vulnerable. Like an addict at their 90-day mark. Clean, but only by a hair. All we know is chaos, and we crave it when things are quiet. It won't take much to rock the boat again. Instead... I say lean into the discomfort. The boredom. The emptiness. Those are safe to feel too. #bpdrecovery

“I shouldn’t have to try so hard” is a frequent thought among people with BPD when it comes to managing our own painful emotions. And so we resist the hard work… because we believe we SHOULD have an easier go of it. But this is false, my friends. No one ever promised us a life of emotional ease. We were dealt the cards, we’ve got to play them. In the end, we discover: the effort forms our character more than emotional ease ever could. #bpd #bpdrecovery

I dared him to ask me out right on this beach, around the time I was starting my final (successful) attempt with BPD treatment. I was a mess. Had just hit rock bottom. Expected failure. I told him “if you date me; I’ll probably break up with you in a week.” 🤦🏻‍♀️ That was 16 years ago. Therapy did help me this time. Treatment did help me this time. And this time, my relationships started to change. As did I. BPD does not have to be the end of your story, doesn’t have to dictate the rest of your life, and doesn’t have to be your identity. There are reasons to live and learn and change. And even YOU are capable of change. You are not a lost cause. Despite expecting to fail, you might just find you succeed at building a life worth living. ❤️🫶 #worthit #bpdrecovery #holdontohope

Another client yesterday shared the news - they are graduating the treatment world and living a life they’re proud of, after many years of suffering with BPD. They had a good therapist, good psychiatrist, and lots of group support from peers. They participated in all the brutal work of introspection. They learned skills for communicating and managing difficult interactions. They examined their traumatic experiences, and discovered their strength. They learned how to feel anger and compassion for themselves and others, without dismissing either. They uncovered their values, who they are, and how to be that person even when life throws punches. And now they’re well on their way to a future they never dreamed of. This is the recovery life. People are living it every day. BPD is not a death sentence. It’s not a life sentence to misery. It’s not a fake illness someone made up, and it’s not a hopeless illness to crush your spirits. It’s a serious illness… but it doesn’t have to be your whole story. People with BPD can seek - and build - a life of recovery. If you have BPD, don’t ever give up hope. You’ve got a future ahead of you. And it can be so much better than the rumors led you to believe. ❤️🫶 #bpd #bpdrecovery #keepfighting #holdontohope #lifeworthliving

I hate to tell you this, but there are a LOT of people with BPD who are totally fine with their diagnosis, don't give the label a whole ton of thought, are in treatment and happy with their progress, or even out of treatment and living functional lives. One of the main reasons I stay on these miserable platforms is to actively disrupt the narrative that "BPD is bad" or that every clinician who diagnoses someone with BPD wants them to live with a horrifying, stigmatizing diagnosis that doesn't really exist, or that every clinician wants to trap you in an endless cycle of payment plans to suck you dry. There are a lot of awful, harmful, INCOMPETENT clinicians. I see it all the time. And there are a lot of clinicians and patients doing just fine, working together to build lives that are functional, and worth living. Don't let the internet convince you that only one reality exists. #bpd #bpdrecovery

Some say diagnosis doesn't matter. Some say diagnosis isn't real. Some say diagnosis is CPTSD. Some say diagnosis is BPD. Some say diagnosis is autism. Some say therapist is right. Some say psychiatrist is right. Some say no one is right. Some say the post is stupid. LOL. If anything, the responses to this post reveal the divided and scattered opinions about patients with a BPD diagnosis. All over the map. S/O to the providers who help bring clarity, focus, and an overarching message of "no one really knows everything, so let's just work together to find out what a life worth living is." You help break through the noise. #bpd #bpdrecovery

When BPD was ruling my life, I completely alienated my family. Chaotic fights, accusations, there were times when I would disappear for months to another town, just a call occasionally. Now of course… I know many folks have abusive relationships they need to get away from. I’m talking about those of us who alienate the very people who love us most, and fight to keep loving us even when we refused it. 🫸 Don’t do that. We’ve got to learn to not do that. And we can!! It’s not worth it to keep repeating the pattern when it’s painful, and you know you hate it. It’s okay to have tussles with your family/loved ones on occasion. But we CAN break this cycle of pushing people away, living in nonstop arguments, alienation, hurt, anger, and shame. If you’re ready to stop doing that, it’s going to take some work on your part. Take it from me. It’s 100% worth it. Your loving relationships are worth it all. ❤️ #bpd #bpdrecovery

When I was still in the throes of BPD, consumed with fear and emptiness, I had a friend tattoo this house on my arm. The poem was me on a page. It still is. But the house truly is full of flowers now. And me. And you. 🌼 🏠 #shelsilverstein #mentalhealthrecovery #bpdrecovery #hope