@chelseahandler What Kin i SAY, Ms. #ChelseaHandler? I'VE Used The BarterSystem On Womens a FEW Times?

Does Kevin ever point out how you age like a soured wine? You look like the drag queen version of @RealCarrotTop but he looks much better. (Real friends are honest!)

Wake Yo A$$ 🫏 Up Memphis! #seizethedayandbecreative @Lesdoggg @last_rep @IconDjZirk @JoynerRosha901 @oneflydj @kavaunjay @ComedienneMsPat @Ali_Speaks @DaOnlySalt @chelseahandler @sherrieshepherd @ReginaKing @RegFunny @DJJUSBORNE @DJSUPERMAN901 @djace78

@chelseahandler ANYHOWS, Ms. #ChelseaHandler? Ain't "Las Angeles" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spangl…?

@chelseahandler truth is u wouldn’t have a name wo Bill Cosby

My 36 hours in NYC to announce my new Vegas residency at the Cosmopolitan starting September 1st. Pre sale starts tomorrow at 10am PT. Stylist: Molly Levin Hair: @benskervin Makeup: Mia Jones Siegel

Excited to announce my Las Vegas residency at The Chelsea theater at the @Cosmopolitan_LV! ✨ 2024 Dates: 9/1, 11/2, 11/30 2025 Dates: 1/18, 3/21, 4/18 Pre-sale starts Thursday at 10 am with code: COSMO

I got to perform with a bunch of friends this weekend. Thanks for such a fun week @netflixisajoke. See you soon, Prior Lake and Verona!

Happy Mother's Day!

A little refresher on vacation etiquette ☀️

The Vaseline did not help.

22 cities added! GENERAL ON SALE STARTS NOW: chelseahandler.com

This my baby 🐶

How do we keep the Caitlin Clark effect going?

Who’s sleepy now?

To my baby bears. It is the end of an era. I said goodbye to Bernice this week a year after her brother from the same mother left us. My bears were two of the biggest pains in the ass I’ve ever known, but as they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the palm tree. I loved them big time and they got loved up by so many different people and care takers and I will be forever grateful for all the joy my two bears provided all of us with. I will never be able to articulate how meaningful it is to have a dog jump up and down when you walk in the door. (Not that either one of them ever did that.) This winter in Whistler, Bernice would put her paws up on my bed for me to pick her up and would sleep right by my side, every night. It was a dream come true to have her be so affectionate and needy with me. Dogs don’t just love you; they teach you how to love bigger and harder and softer and better. ❤️

See you on tour.

ATLANTIC CITY! Come see Matteo Lane and me on Saturday, August 10 at the Hard Rock Live at Etess Arena. ⬆️ Get tix with code ONENIGHT at ticketmaster.com/event/02006…

Who watches women’s sports?

My Canadian tour ended with two nights in Vancouver. Thank you to all the Canadians who came out to see me this winter! 🇨🇦 ❤️ Photo credit: jannicke kitchen JUST ADDED: 8.24 Saratoga, CA (Presale Code: LITTLE) UPCOMING SHOWS: 4.4 Salt Lake City, UT 4.5 Denver, CO 4.12 Maricopa, AZ ⬆️ Tix at chelseahandler.com