āBehind every book is a writer who stayed in and stared at the wall a lot.ā
I forget who said that, but it has stayed with me. And I'm here to tell you a brutal truth. The writing life is not for everyone.
Itās not the dream life Instagram would have you believe, sipping lattes, typing in cafĆ©s. In reality, the writing life often feels like locking yourself in a dark room with only your insecurities and your inner demons for company.
It is deeply isolating. Iāve spent months avoiding social events because I had deadlines or because I was inside a fictional world that felt more real than my own. Iāve missed birthdays, dinner parties, school events. Friends drift. Family assume youāre āfree all dayā because you work from home. And try explaining a creative block to someone who thinks all you do is "make stuff up" for a living.
There are days my child has looked at me and said, āYouāre not really here, are you?ā Heās right. Iām physically present, but mentally locked in a chapter, chasing a sentence, or thinking about whether a plot twist works. Thereās guilt in that, a quiet ache of knowing that at times the people you love the most feel like they come second to your fictional universe.
The pay? Letās just say Iāve had royalty cheques that wouldnāt buy a weekās worth of groceries. There are months where you question your worth entirely, when a pitch is rejected, a book flops, or worse, is completely ignored. And because you dared to bleed honestly on the page, you get told youāre too much, too frivolous, too serious, too feminist, not literary enough, too commercial, too lightweight.
Yet, the highs are so luminous they make the lows worthwhile. When a reader writes in saying they loved it. When you re-read bits of your published book and think, wait, I wrote this? When the story finally surrenders and you just know what comes next.
So no, this life isnāt for everyone.
Choose it only if you are one of the mad ones who canāt not write. And if you do, welcome to the abyss. It does not stare back.
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