He asked me to tell you his story so you can learn from his mistakes.
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"When I married my second wife, she suggested we consider counselling but I declined. I thought I knew it all because the polygyny journey was well started. My wives were in good accord until reality dawned on me."
"The fights began big time, and I would handle them the best way I could. I didn't know the issues were rather being compounded by me. They would fight each other (not physically though) and each of them would fight me too."
"One day, my second wife requested I grant her permission to go for counselling, and I accepted -- though reluctantly."
"Recently, I discovered positive changes in her. She had become peaceful and I could not but wonder how. I had even forgotten she went for counselling as I expected no appreciable outcome from it. I concluded she only decided to turn a new leaf."
"I commended her, one lovely day, and asked to be told the secrets behind the new life. She told me it's the result of the counselling she went for -- that it's the counsellor that made her realise her excesses and had her taught various coping techniques."
"Immediately, I realised I was wrong to have declined the suggestion that we go for counselling. I was overridden by my masculine ego. I told her to avail me the contact of the counsellor so my first wife and I could also be taken through same therapy. Lo and behold, you are the counsellor I was given his contact!"
"First, I will like to thank you for the efforts. I sincerely appreciate it. Kindly consider my first wife and I too for same therapy, sir?"
This story may seem like an advert but that's not the intent behind the piece. It is just to make our men realise that whatever is worth doing at all is worth being learned. You don't have to come to me. In fact, you may not even consider a counsellor. Just ensure you learn it from a well-experienced person. You need a few sessions to understand what it entails. One of the reasons polygyny doesn't last these days is the lack of appropriate knowledge of the players. The men, as well as the women, know little or nothing about it.
Your vast knowledge of Arabic doesn't mean you will do well with polygyny. Marriage, especially polygyny, is beyond what is read in books. Practicality is learned from experienced people.
I heard the story of a renowned scholar who ran to a senior scholar when his wives wanted to squeeze life out of him. It was there and then, as narrated, that he realised his method of administration was inappropriate. This is a reputable international scholar whose name, if mentioned, will shock you. No one is an Island. Whatever you don't know will always be your master.
Sanni Kay Yūsuf