My therapist told me I have a deep level of discernment when it comes to people. Most likely because of my mixed background and growing up/working in spaces that didn’t look like me.
I’m also highly intuitive. I tend to see things before others do.
I don’t get starstruck or easily impressed. Probably because I grew up around people with money, careers, and success… and they were just normal people.
Then I worked in PR, met a ton of celebs, and it never phased me.
Anywho, when I met my husband, he was a bit older, divorced, and had friends from childhood and work that I just never liked.
They gave me bad energy. The women, especially. One even told me I’d get "tired" of my hubs… literally months into our marriage.
I tried, though.
I showed up to every suburban BBQ and gathering. Did the couple things. Tried to befriend the women. Girl to girl.
But after a few years of hearing them constantly complain about their husbands and their lives, I realized they weren’t the kind of influence I wanted in my life or around my marriage:
“They are your friends, not mine. And they’re not good for our marriage.”
The hubs kept a relationship with them. I did not.
And to be fair, it wasn’t just him. I had my own blind spots too.
There were women I was very close to. But as I started building a life, I began to notice subtle jealousy.
The unspoken expectation was that I’d be the forever single, career-driven woman. The one killing it at work, grabbing drinks after; but not making space for a real relationship or marriage.
So slowly, I removed myself.
Discernment.
Fast forward 15 years (yes, we’ve been married that long): those couples are now divorced, and many of the women are still single.
All this to say: we all have discernment. You don’t have to be highly intuitive to tap into it.
Listen to it.
Not everyone deserves to be in your life.
Because when your personal life is peaceful, your work, especially if you’re creative, will blossom too.
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