Narcissists are very clever. They read you like they read the newspaper. They know when you are going to back down, give in, and aim to keep the peace. They know when you need them to be kinder, gentler, and more vulnerable with them, and they use this emotional data as a manipulative tool against you.
To remain in my toxic marriage, I told myself lies all day, every day; I just didn't know I was doing it. Childhood programming rooted in feelings of unworthiness conditioned me to fear disapproval and beg for approval simultaneously. It was as if I was brainwashed to learn how to tango with a rattlesnake and to feel responsible if I ever got bit.
Codependency twists your reality from below the veil of consciousness, and without understanding what a toxic relationship is, and why codependents so often end up in relationships with narcissists, it can be nearly impossible to extricate yourself from the relationship.
Once I learned I was codependent, and I could see how I was playing right into the narrative of someone who devalued me to feel better about himself, that's when the light went off, and that's also when I realized family, friends, and neighbors were never going to support me because, to them, he was a Boyscout.
I walked away anyway and today I am living my best life, healing more each day and proof that real mature love is possible!
We got this!
Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach
Bestelling Author of the #1 Bestselling Book The Road Back to Me
Creator of The 12 Week Breakthrough Codependency Bootcamp
lisaaromano.com
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