@halflflives profile picture
incorrect halflives @halflflives

we all have halflflives πŸ’š entertainment only! | quotes aren't mine. enjoy πŸ–€ (she/her)

Joined April 2020
  • Tweets 1,486
  • Following 19
  • Followers 138
67 Photos and videos
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incorrect halflives@halflflives
14 May 2020
this goes for everyone btw πŸ‘€ if you have any fun ideas, dm me directly so i can post and credit you, or tag me so i can rt it πŸ–€ this account is a pack project!
incorrect halflives@halflflives
14 May 2020
Replying to @chachyturtle @wehavehalflives
yesss! feel free to bring in your ideas whenever :D
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incorrect halflives retweeted
Linda Battilani@lilyhashalflife
6 May 2022
friend: what are you good at? me: me: denial 🫠 actually very good at it
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what fede thinks vs. what he he looks like really looks like
Tony Stark in his EDITH glasses

ALT Tony Stark in his EDITH glasses

Tom Holland's Peter Parker in the EDITH glasses

ALT Tom Holland's Peter Parker in the EDITH glasses

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incorrect halflives retweeted
Chachy πŸ’πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ@chachyturtle
14 Jan 2022
Mom: β€œwhat did you learn today?” Child: β€œteacher Linda taught us how to make pasta” @halflflives
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linda, sighing dramatically: men don't even open car doors anymore oscar, visibly confused: how else am i supposed to get in then
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fede: you have such an excellent taste in clothes linda: of course i do. i didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
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cop: do you know how fast you were going? i hope you don't drive like that with your kid in the car! oscar: huh? cop: *motions to the "BABY ON BOARD" sticker* oscar: oh no... i'm... cop: oscar: i'm... cop: ? oscar: i'm baby. cop: oscar: cop: that'll be a fine of 500€
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fede, hungover: my head is killing me linda: not fast enough fede: huh?
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oscar: what do you see in the clouds? linda: years of unregulated carbon emissions causing climate change that will affect the next generation much more than the people who refuse to change. oscar: linda: oscar: i see a puppy.
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girl: hey wanna come over ;) linda: i can't, i have to hide a body girl: haha my boyfriend isn't home linda: yea i know
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fede: yeah, i was annoying when i was 19. who wasn't? fede: and yeah, i was also annoying at 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29... linda: last week. yesterday...
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linda: i was always told i could be whoever i wanted linda: turns out, i can't because "identity theft is a crime" linda: i am very upset right now.
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margaux: what are your guys' new years resolutions? linda: french probably margaux: you already speak french tho?? linda: oh sorry i thought you said revolution-
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oscar: my strength comes from community fede: my strength comes from friendship linda: well MY strength comes from my sacred amulet 😌
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linda: music business is just like a lifelong game called "do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep"
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oscar: hey, have you seen my flamethrower? linda: no... why do you need a flamethrower?! oscar: oh, you know, yard work...
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linda: how the hell do i talk to people oscar: just stand in front of them and press A
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oscar: i want a unicorn for christmas linda: maybe something more realistic? oscar: how about the re-release of the OVER songs? linda: linda: what color unicorn?
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oscar: i'm claustrophobic fede: what is that? linda: it means he's afraid of santa claus oscar: that's not wha- fede: ho ho ho linda: STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING HIM
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broke: last christmas by wham! woke: last christmas by crazy frog bespoke: Last Crhsitmas by halflflives feat. THE UMA
This tweet is unavailable
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fede: margaux?! how did you find me? margaux: oh, you know. i saw a huge explosion and wondered, "now, who could that be?"
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