I have incredible news, which is that I am going to be moving out soon, which is amazing because I havenβt had my own space ever in my own life. Iβve lived with a bunch of roommates, but never true freedom.
I wanna get back to streaming, but I want to change what I do and make it more natural for myself again. Itβs incredibly hard to be a healthy Melee player and I have a really unique platform where I can kind of give you examples directly from my own life about what not to do cuz Iβve done it for so long so recklessly, but reckless was natural to me.
I never had the words in the past to explain that Iβd really struggle to express myself, and I was so embarrassed of rejection for my own art that I didnβt want to show anybody. I really wanna thank the people who have always encouraged me to keep creating even if I just do it for myself and donβt ever post it anywhere.
I really love Melee and I know there are so many creative young people who are learning to express themselves for the first time through Smash Brothers. When I think about who I really want to be, I want to be caring and thoughtful and empathetic but when I compete, I need to be in a state of hyper confidence and almost crushing ego in order to succeed and that just leads me down a really negative path. I want to re-create a more comfortable space that is open, accepting, and allows room for growth but through positive constructive criticism not ego.
I thought maybe I was having a manic episode but for the first time ever Iβm slowing down. Iβm pacing myself. Iβm not pushing myself beyond the brink of redemption. Iβm listening to my body. And itβs because Iβve been reconnecting more with my creativity.
I have a lot of projects that I have started at the same time in order to keep my mind free and this is what life is all about for me I canβt wait. Iβm so excited.
Love you all π sorry Iβm not the greatest it always responding. I think I got a little bit of ADHD or something.