@harrisalterman profile picture
Harris Alterman @harrisalterman

Comedian. NYC.

Joined March 2023
  • Tweets 173
  • Following 187
  • Followers 3,191
62 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Harris Alterman@harrisalterman
22 Apr 2024
We asked couples "What's your partner's least attractive feature?"
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In his defense, I would also be distracted by the bold flavor of Hard Mountain Dew. #ad #HardMountainDew @hardmountaindew Must be 21 to watch.
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The world’s hardest sales job
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The arc of the moral universe got red pilled
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Just heard a woman scream on the street and I thought Kamala won but it was just a rat
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Harris Alterman retweeted
Harris Alterman@harrisalterman
8 Jul 2024
Trump or Biden?
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Looks like piss is the winner
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When you don’t know the judges on the ballot. #election
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Harris Alterman retweeted
Dan Carney
@DanManCarney
2 Oct 2024
Moderator: tell us your stance on immigration JD Vance: once upon a time there was a boy. A small boy. His name was James, and he lived in a giant peach. And that boy was me. I’m James D Vance and I lived in a giant peach. So that’s what I’m about.
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Harris Alterman retweeted
Four Seasons Total Landscaping@TotalSeasons
11 Sep 2024
We’d like to announce that while we are not a hotel, we are a concept of a hotel.
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Harris Alterman retweeted
J.P. McDade@jp_mcdade
11 Sep 2024
The Shawshank Reassignment
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ok new trend, post your most pointless google search
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tryin to get JD on the pod
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OpenAI just dropped a new AI that can summarize books down to one word!
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How’s your New Year’s resolution going?
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I traveled back in time to ask people during the Great Depression what they thought about season three of The Bear
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the future is here
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new AI lets you turn text into hummus???
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give him a netflix special
Acyn
@Acyn
22 Jul 2024
Vance: I had a Diet Mountain Dew yesterday and one today. I'm sure they will call that racist.
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Who is your celebrity lookalike?
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Harris Alterman retweeted
Appodlachia
@appodlachia
21 Jul 2024
I can’t explain it, but he looks like the guy at the bachelor party that doesn’t know any of the other groomsmen
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