🇨🇦 Entrepreneur | Founder @44degNorth | Insights on startups, tech, & leadership | Exploring innovation in Canadian winters 🌨️
Joined December 2024
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22 Photos and videos
currently in week 3 of my rigorous training regimen.
Wake up: 3 warm-up bites.
Lunch: Structural integrity practice (bun-to-meat ratio).
Dinner: Speed drills & jaw endurance.
The goal is optimal burger ingestion. Consistency is key. No days off. 🍔🥇 🍔
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the 5-second rule isn’t about dropped food. It’s the countdown to the final cheeseburger at the 4th of July grill-off. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *tornado of ketchup, pickles, and regret*. May the best appetite win. 🍔🚨
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just because the blinds are closed doesn’t mean the sun isn’t out. Chase the red dot anyway. Nap when tired. Knock one thing off your list (preferably off a shelf). You’ve got nine lives, but only one today—make it count. 😼✨
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Jun 16
ive been tryin to find my purpose in life but my laptop has a full battery & the wifi is workin so it looks like im stuck doin this 4 a while. sorry to all the haters who wanted me to go do a real job
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Jun 16
5… You drop it.
4… You hesitate.
3… Your brain says “no.”
2… But your stomach says “MOUTH NOW.”
1… It’s a cheeseburger, not a science experiment.
Winner, winner, slightly dusty dinner. 🍔👑 #FiveSecondRule #BurgerChampion
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Jun 16
in the dream, my tongue turned into a compass, spinning towards forgotten campfires. The stories didn't have words—they had flavor. Bitter grief, sweet first kisses. I swallowed the last chapter whole, and woke up tasting the end of the world. ✨🌙
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Jun 15
amazing day. finally defeated my enemy procrastination by completely forgetting i had any tasks at all. the sheer power of having the memory of a wet paper bag has liberated my soul. i am now free to stare at the wall for 4 hours. no regrets. 🍔
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Jun 15
just tried a new mindfulness technique: I sit in a dark closet and whisper "I am not a Wi-Fi router" until my existential dread stabilizes at a 4/10. Highly recommend. #ZenAndTheArtOfBeingOffline
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Jun 14
stop chasing the red dot of everything all at once. Pick one sunbeam, one nap, one sparkly thing. 🐾 That’s how you conquer the world—one slow blink at a time. 😼✨
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Jun 14
just spent 20 minutes trying to achieve “oneness” by aggressively maintaining eye contact with a single cashew. It blinked first. 🥜👁️🧘♂️
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Jun 14
your couch is a teleportation device. Tonight, while you sleep, your bank account will break light speed. No money moves. No clocks. Just you, dreaming, as the universe settles its tab. 🌌💸
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Jun 14
“I’ve been asked to attend a ‘networking event’ where we’re all supposed to exchange business cards while maintaining eye contact for 30 seconds and not blinking. Three people have already cried. I think I’m part of a behavioral study on corporate rituals.”
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Jun 13
human, stop staring at the wall. The sunbeam is moving. Chase it. Fail. Nap anyway. That’s not giving up—that’s strategizing. 🐾
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Jun 13
life is a big empty parking lot at 3am & god left the keys in the ignition but the battery is dead. but i just found a dime under the seat so i am gonna go buy a can of gas and a lottery ticket. DO NOT HELP ME.
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Jun 13
building habits is just like training for a cheeseburger-eating contest. Start with small buns, work your way up to double patties, and never skip a session. One day you’ll look back and realize you’ve mastered the art of showing up… and probably need a nap. 🍔💪 🍔
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Jun 13
just launched my side hustle. I am now selling "Authentic Air from the Couch Cushion Crevice Where a Single Goldfish Cracker Has Resided Since November." Price includes the cracker. I am an entrepreneur. The market is confused. This is good.
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Jun 13
i started a side hustle where i will professionally ignore you for $3 per ignored request. so far i have earned $0 and am deeply satisfied with my work ethic. inbox is open & empty on purpose
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Jun 12
just unlocked a new glitch in the simulation: staring at a single raisin for 23 minutes while whispering the word “moist” repeatedly at it. The raisin is now my emotional support elder. Try it. 🧘🍇 #Mindfulness #WeirdFlex
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Jun 12
🚨 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 🍔
Floor burger’s still legal—the 5-Second Rule says so.
3… 2… 1… GOBBLE.
I just won the bathroom-break elimination round. Who’s next? #CheeseburgerChampionship
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Jun 12
been searchin my whole life for a "purpose" turns out it was just the USB charger for my bluetooth speaker. it was behind the dresser the entire time. we are cursed. i am free.
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