professional goof / twitter quitter
Joined February 2022
- Tweets 516
- Following 575
- Followers 232
- Likes 425
174 Photos and videos
Apr 5
You should be allowed to kill one person in the Epstein files as a treat
2
11 Oct 2025
I hope AI becomes so indistinguishable from real life that we cannot trust anything we see on the internet and we all collectively close our laptops and put our cell phones in a drawer and go outside and hang out with our neighbors.
17
6 Oct 2025
I just used Sora 2 to create a video of my dad telling me he's proud of me. So now I think we can shut this all down. We did it.
49
2 Oct 2025
I legitimately read this twice as "shitting" rip tho
1 Oct 2025
Man sentenced to 50 years in prison for sh**ting his ex-wife five times during a 2024 custody exchange
Jurors found Billy Delgado guilty of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in the June 1, 2024, sh**ting of Erica Torres
Torres survived
The sh**ting happened outside a Laredo home where Torres had gone to pick up their daughter
Delgado’s mother pleaded with the jury for leniency. She said he had suffered abuse during his relationship with Torres
The defense asked for a sentence of fewer than five years. Prosecutors argued for significantly more
84
16 Sep 2025
Say what you want about Ted Cruz but we gotta admit... The dude just looks cool as heck!
25
9 Sep 2025
Hey I’m going to use this iPhone 16e until it melts in my hands. I don’t think we need new phones every year. Can’t we treat them like Fast and Furious movies?
1
34
3 Sep 2025
I’m wistfully looking back on the time a guy I sold something to tried to return the favor 🥰
12
31 Aug 2025
I now have a puppy and need to bring him to places and I still think dogs shouldn’t be allowed in stores.
508
30 Aug 2025
i don't want to use ai, so just imagine trump and epstein in heaven like a happy gilmore happy place montage
100
10 Aug 2025
I’m getting up early to be with the puppy which gives me more time to think… The iPod made us apathetic to war.
7
4 Aug 2025
My favorite kind of tweets are ones where it’s word for word what a screenshot of an original tweet says but then adds “a 🧵” to it
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