Driving from her school last weekend, my daughter said :
“Daddy can you buy me a phone?
I said : No at all
She asked : Why??
I said: “Because you don’t need a phone
What you need at this age is a calculator!!”
She kept quiet and didn’t prolong her request.
And this brings me to my lesson for today.
The “NEED” Vs The “WANT”:
What a child needs and wants are two different things.
Most times as (modern) parents we put a lot emphasis on the “wants” of children instead of “need”. We indirectly think that to give every “WANT” when a child cries for it is to love them but that’s not it.
WANTS can be delayed but NEEDS can’t be delayed.
For example: You be driving home and a child cries, she’s thirsty. She “WANTS” a soda 🥤. As parent it’s your duty to discern and say she “wants” a soda but she NEEDS water. As a reasonable adult, you know soda won’t quench her thirst, that’s why you buy her Water because you know it’s what she “needs.”
#NEEDS - are things you can’t move without.
#WANTS - are things that even when they’re not available, life can continue.
A child might be hungry crying for a PIZZA 🍕. It’s what she wants.
As parent you know she doesn’t need PIZZA. She needs a full balanced meal.
Our traditional parents put a lot of focus on the “NEED”. They never gave a lot of options for us to WANT. They knew that wants might not be sustainable so they focused on needs. A child went to school with basic needs.
They knew that
A good parent will NOT bend to a child’s emotions just because they “want” something. A good parent will focus on providing what the child “NEEDS”.
It might not be sweet or interesting but it’s better than what they “WANT”