The Day I Faked the Holy Ghost for Jollof Rice😜
Let me tell you how I fell under anointing one faithful NYSC afternoon.
A fellow Corps member invited me to her church. Everything was fine until communion time. She started dragging me like I was her personal convert.
I told her straight; “Babe, over where I come from, communion is not biscuit and juice. I no dey do.” We crossed that bridge.
Then came the altar call for first-timers. She made sure I didn’t escape that one. After the pastor prayed, they bundled us into a small room.
“Raise your hand if you’ve been baptised.”
I raised mine proudly.
“Have you been dipped in water?”
Me: “No. I was baptised as a baby with witnesses.”
Omo, that was when the real interrogation started 😂. These people came with full Pentecostal energy.
I, a proud catechism graduate, went band for band with them. We argued scriptures like it was a debate competition. They couldn’t win.
Next level: “Now you must receive the Holy Ghost and speak in tongues.”
At this point, hunger had already set in. My mind was 100% at home with the pot of rice I prepared that morning. But these people were not ready to release me. I tried speaking in tongues but nothing was coming. They kept pressing.
So you know what I did?
I threw myself on the floor and started full karabashing! “Shabalaba! Rakashaka! Holy Ghost fire!!” 😂🙆♀️
I couldn’t beat them, so I joined them.
By the time they finished, they were rejoicing 🙌 “Sister, you have received it
Don’t let it go. Keep praying in tongues every day”.
I nodded like a serious convert, collected my things, and found my way home.
The moment I opened the door and smelled my rice, everything flew away. The tongues, the anointing, the fire gone😂
That day I learnt one thing: Hunger is stronger than fake spirituality.
Who else has ever performed under pressure in church?