bot that posts incorrect criminal minds quotes from tumblr. lots of jemily and sometimes other random ships #cmtwt
Joined March 2024
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Penelope: JJ is the mom friend.
JJ: i am not.
Spencer: you made me write my name on the tag in my jacket.
JJ: i didn't want you to lose it– oh, now i hear it.
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Spencer: is that vodka?
Emily: yeah.
Spencer: straight?
Emily: no, gay.
Spencer: i meant the vodka–
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Spencer: i have a bad feeling about the male and female leads.
Emily: i agree, i'm not even a fan of romance but i have to say it’s going to be a bad ending.
Hotch: guys, we are at a wedding–
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JJ: that's ridiculous, Emily doesn't have a crush on me.
Penelope: yes she does.
Derek: she definitely does.
Emily: are we not dating…?
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Emily: *showering*
JJ: *opens the shower curtain* hey, are we out of– stop screaming. are we out of cheetos?
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Emily: me and my wife don’t argue. she tells me to shut up and i do.
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Emily: why do people keep asking me who tops and who bottoms? we don't even have bunk beds.
JJ: babe, no…
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Luke, peeling a banana: may i take your coat for you, sir?
Tara: you know everyone else can hear you, right?
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JJ: you know, i’m starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Emily, drinking toast: why do you say that?
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Emily: fine! judge all you want but...
points at Reid: non existent love life
points at Derek: bitchless
points at Hotch: divorced once
points at Rossi: divorced three times
points at JJ: married a lesbian
JJ: to be fair, i married you.
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[Emily and JJ making out in JJ’s office]
Penelope, about to burst in: are you two coming or–
Penelope: *sees them through the window*
Penelope: oh, you’re being gay.
Penelope: good job, carry on.
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Emily: FUCK the government!
Hotch, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose: Emily, we ARE the government.
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Derek: the greatest trick the devil has pulled was changing its name to Emily.
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Emily: her boobs ease the pain. i call that “iboobprofen”.
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Medic: you have an impressive pain tolerance.
Emily: thanks, it’s the trauma.
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Emily: JJ, i feel like trash.
JJ: as someone who’s environmental conscious, it’s my duty to pick you up. does 7 work for you?
Emily: you smooth motherfucker!
Emily: and yes, it does.
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Derek: i’m Rossi’s favorite.
Spencer: Rossi doesn’t have favorites.
Rossi: i do, it’s Emily. Emily is my favorite.
Emily, smirking at Derek and Spencer: eat my dust. *walks away*
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JJ: Pen, there's something we need to tell you. Emily and i are dating.
Penelope: i’ve known for the last few years, you two are inseparable.
JJ: years? we've only been dating for a few weeks!
Penelope: then what the hell were you doing before that??
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Unsub: i have one of your children.
Hotch: which one i have many
Unsub: loud, annoying, angry kid who never shuts up.
Hotch: which one i have many
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JJ: what's wrong with you?
Emily: i have this weird self esteem issue where i hate myself but also think i'm better than everyone else.
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