How Do You Measure Success?
🔴The Myth:
✨Wealth/Status: Success cannot be measured materially. A title, salary, or bank account is always going to be relative to those of others, and therefore your success is defined by others. It is not your success, and whatever means ‘winning’ today will invariably become ‘falling behind’ tomorrow. Living well is always one hill away when success is measured materially.
✨Being ‘Happy’: Success cannot be measured emotionally. Happiness is fleeting and transitory, based on a nuanced and complicated experience of balancing expectations and realities. The happiest people are only occasionally happy, happiness is not directly in our control, and happiness is always relative to disappointment, unease and sorrow, and it can be an important thing to allow ourselves to be unhappy when there is good reason for it. Living well is always precarious and separate from our agency and power, when measured emotionally.
✨Achievement: Success cannot be measured in achievements if those achievements are not based in our values, or motivated by our life experiences. An achievement can be a big milestone that tells us we are on the path we want to be on, but looking to that achievement rather than the everyday work of putting one’s truest self into fully realized action is to miss out on the greatest satisfactions to be found in life. Living well can be co-opted away from us, when measured meritoriously.
🔴The Lies:
✨You Are Not Acceptable.
Whoever you are, whatever you’ve done or haven’t done, you are acceptable just as you are. You are worthy of love, and of loving yourself. Whatever guilt or regret you may hang onto from the past, are they still serving you? If so, figure out why, and turn that into action. If not, what good are you doing anyone, stuck on that hook? You’re okay. You’re enough.
✨You Are Obligated.
All you have to do is exist. That’s it. You aren’t obligated to anyone, or anything else. Transform that sense of obligation into choice and desire toward whatever it is that you want. Delete the words “should”, “gotta”, “have to” and “must” from your vocabulary. Love does not obligate. We are. That’s enough.
✨You Should Be In Control.
Control is an illusion that our conscious mind constructs, or internalizes from elsewhere, to feel comfort. Your life can change in a trillion ways today, for better or worse, and 99.99% of them are wholly out of your control. You are a leaf on the wind. Lean into the discomfort. Let go of the illusion.
Live Your Truth.. That's Enough
#MondayStarts #YouAreEnough