330 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
20 Sep 2020
travelin soldier (the chicks)
full song: instagram.com/tv/CFXWx_TpzXt…
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6 Aug 2024
Just logged on to say there really is nothing better on earth than women’s olympic gymnastics. Have loved it since Barcelona in 1992, will love it forever. ❤️🔥 #Olympics
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6 Aug 2024
And literally stop asking it every time anyone succeeds at anything ever.
4 Aug 2024
you guys really gotta stop asking athletes what’s next after they win a medal at the Olympics
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26 Jul 2023
Sinéad was a legend!! An earth-shattering voice, both musically and otherwise. Thank you Sinéad for your music and your courage.
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18 Jun 2023
i miss the days when we could do an activity without constantly being blocked by people filming themselves pretending to do that activity for social media
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18 Jun 2023
Y’all this tiny sad burger from mcdonalds was $8. Just the burger. $8. Before tax. Is it April fools?
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9 Jun 2023
Fedex, literally every time, informs me simultaneously that (a) my package is arriving early - today in fact! - and (b) my package also just arrived at a location very, very far away from me. FEDEX, IT CAN'T BE BOTH IT IS NEVER BOTH
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30 May 2023
am i the only person who finds it disturbing that class action settlement notifications cannot at all be differentiated from random phishing emails?
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7 Apr 2023
The amount of people who have podcasts & constantly bump the mic (like, physically) is really starting to get to me
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1 Apr 2023
Every time a podcaster pronounces it “furmiliar” instead of “familiar”, a fairy loses its wings. And y’all have literally de-winged all the fairies. Stop saying it like that
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21 Mar 2023
reading prince harry's book & the most shocking unsettling part of it all that i will never get over or forget...WHY DO THEY CALL TJ Maxx "TK Maxx"??? TK?? --- WHY IS IT "TK" THERE INSTEAD OF TJ???
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5 Mar 2023
and then it hit me: COVID, inflation, affordability crisis, disappearing middle class, drought, fires, flooding, climate change...what if this is all just the universe getting back at us for wearing JNCOs
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4 Mar 2023
if i'm reading a book and the character talks about "the cream tea we ate", is this a british thing, or is the author revealing to me this character is on drugs/incoherent/thinks you eat beverages?
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2 Mar 2023
When u get an erroneous medical bill (USA)
Insurance: You have to call the lab
Lab: You have to call the doctor
Doctor: You have to call the billing dept
Billing: You have to speak to a specialist
Specialist: You have to call the Lab
Lab: No
Me: [dies of old age before resolving]
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1 Mar 2023
Hulu: watch “Titanic: 25 Years Later”!
Me: omg I’m a million
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25 Feb 2023
--Me: How can I make garlic bread without an oven?
--ChatGPT: Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
**(j/k this is just me doing comedy)
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17 Feb 2023
uhFIIEEEEV HUNDRED TWENNNY FIEEEV THOWSUND SIX HUNNNNNDRIDD MINNNNIIIITTS
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8 Feb 2023
this anti-fees rant is so making up for all the word slurring ❤️
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6 Feb 2023
it's still considered fasting if you only had popcorn, correct?
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30 Jan 2023
The phlebotomist drew my blood today without saying a word to me while she was on a bluetooth call. Like a taxi driver. Why is American healthcare such a horror movie
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