For twitter reasons I must announce that I am not the real Jared

Joined April 2021
3,505 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
14 Sep 2022
Climbed the volcano n that
13
1
117
J*r*d retweeted
How it feels lining up Shearer with De Bruyne before rolling QPR 94/95
Inspired by 82-0.com, but for football. Draft a Premier League XI from random clubs and seasons. Build your team. Simulate the season. Can you go 38-0? 38-0.app/game #football #soccer #fifa #premierleague
16
267
5,768
307,424
J*r*d retweeted
I feel like every single clip I scroll by from Subway Takes is someone inventing blood and soil nationalism out of vague lefty intuitions
You have to be born in New York to be a New Yorker!! @JLo
45
628
12,331
305,144
J*r*d retweeted
❤️ @LFC
4,408
16,695
147,055
3,756,727
J*r*d retweeted
Arne helped us deliver our 20th title and we’ll always be thankful ❤️
1,420
8,284
81,287
1,925,401
BREAKING: I understand that Mikel Arteta left a team meeting to call his agent upon hearing the Liverpool news. Watch this space...
1
108
Fuck Iraola I want KLOPP
1
83
J*r*d retweeted
It's a shame it had to end like this, but we'll always be grateful to Arne Slot for bringing us number 20. The way he handled the Jota situation will never be forgotten either. Thank you, Arne. All the best in the future.
29
336
3,024
52,523
J*r*d retweeted
….. fuck
37
902
15,007
1,301,106
J*r*d retweeted
May 28
We have an update
🚨 BREAKING: Massimiliano Allegri as new Napoli head coach, here we go! 🔵💣 Former AC Milan manager accepts all the conditions offered by Napoli and he will sign in shortly. Deal done. 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼
255
5,808
52,677
3,130,762
J*r*d retweeted
🥇| @JamesPearceLFC and @greggevans40: "So much rested on the shoulders of Van Dijk and there’s huge admiration internally for how he handled that responsibility. "Week after week, he tried to lift those around him and repeatedly fronted up to the media but eventually it took a toll. In recent weeks, he’s looked drained."
28
125
2,513
151,535
J*r*d retweeted
Since they joined in 2017, Liverpool have won 216 Premier League games, and Robertson and/or Salah have played in 212 of those. In Liverpool's top-flight history, they rank 3rd and 5th for win rate respectively (Robertson 65.1%, Salah 63.8%). Thank you Andy, and thank you Mo.
1
193
1,031
16,044
J*r*d retweeted
This fan to Mosalah: “A little personal thing from me to you, is thank you very much. My dad past away last year through Dementia. He’s the reason why we’re all Liverpool fans. The last time i saw him smile, was me singing your song, So i’ll say no more than that, Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️”.
32
757
6,569
143,715
Jordan Henderson doesn’t stop barking orders, does he? Didn’t appreciate it when he was with us
2
2
1,170
J*r*d retweeted
Robertson open letter It feels a bit self-important writing a letter like this, if I’m honest. But when I was asked, I didn’t want to miss the chance to say thank you to a city and a community that has made me and my family feel like one of their own from day one. Let me start with something that probably sounds more suited to a letter in The Herald back in Glasgow. I’m a proud Glaswegian. I always will be. I love telling people where I’m from. It’s part of who I am. It’s where I was born, where I was raised and it’ll forever be in my blood. But after nine years here, I’ve realised there’s room in my heart for two cities. Liverpool will forever define a huge part of my life. Honestly, I think the reason me and my family settled so quickly is because Liverpool reminded us so much of home. The humour, the people, the mentality — it all felt familiar straight away. At times it genuinely feels like Glasgow and Liverpool are only separated by two different accents. Both cities have that working-class spirit. Pride. Defiance. People who say what they think. No airs and graces. What you see is what you get. And more than anything, both places value honesty. There’s something real about Liverpool. People here can spot nonsense a mile off, and I’ve always respected that. I know from the outside my connection to this city will always be tied to the football club and everything we achieved together. Of course I’m immensely proud of that. How could I not be? But for me and my wife, our bond with Merseyside goes much deeper than football. Rachel and I arrived in 2017 as a young couple expecting our first child. Like me, Rach is fiercely proud of being from Glasgow. We actually went to school together, which probably tells you how long she’s had to put up with me. Looking back now, we probably underestimated how daunting it was — moving to a new city, away from family, about to become parents for the first time. But Liverpool instantly made us feel comfortable. And the incredible people at Liverpool Women’s Hospital made us feel safe at a time in our lives where that meant everything. Over the nine years, two became five. Liverpool is where our little team was built. A lot of teammates — mainly James Milner to be fair — loved winding me up about being captain of Scotland while having three kids born in England. But I’m always quick to correct them. They’re not English. We’ve got three proper little Scottish Scousers. And honestly, we couldn’t be prouder of that. The kids probably sum us up best really — Glaswegians with a Liverpool passport. My wider family feel exactly the same way about this city.
73
602
4,811
197,168
J*r*d retweeted
Enjoy anecdotes that paint a picture of the world-class footballer and unique person that bids farewell to Anfield on Sunday 👏
55
283
2,250
170,215
J*r*d retweeted
Football data editor at Opta, @michael_reid11: "We obviously have data for all the Premier League era, so from 1992-93 onwards, but Salah's records were so ridiculous that we realised we had to go beyond that. The amount of times we were doing stats and you'd try to put other players up on a leaderboard but Salah would be just there ahead of them. It would be just impossible to get a table where Salah wasn't above this player because he was so multifaceted. What we tried to do was get maybe two or three Salah records or stats lined up before every game. He got to a point where every time he gets a goal or assist, there's some sort of record he's breaking."
61
2,272
12,876
758,202
J*r*d retweeted
Former #ManCity staff member on the 2018 Premier League title win: “Even though Pep wanted all these records we’d still go out. He’d be like ‘Right, Sunday, we’ve got a game but Monday, Tuesday we’ll go out’. It was every week. By the time we got to the actual parade my missus was like: ‘You can’t go out again, it’s getting beyond a joke! You’re out all the time.’ I’m like: ‘But Pep’s asking me to’. "Anyway, we’re in the canteen having a few beers before we got on the parade bus and Pep says ‘Are you out tonight?’ I say: ‘I can’t. I think I’ll be left homeless if I go.’ So Pep goes: ‘Well, stay at my apartment if you want.’ 'I can’t Pep, it’s my missus.’ ‘You want me to ring her? Come on, ring your missus.’ "Everyone was around us. My missus answered. ‘Hello, this is Pep.’ She says: ‘Who?’ ‘It’s Pep Guardiola.’ She’s gone: ‘All right, yeah, go on?’ ‘Listen, I know we’ve been out a lot recently but we’ve just won the Premier League. I’ll have him home by 2AM.’ My missus just replies, ‘One’ and hits the red button. Everyone’s there howling..." The real Pep Guardiola: Untold stories from a decade with City’s Pied Piper. Read @TelegraphDucker's full report on @TeleFootball. ⤵️ telegraph.co.uk/football/202…
78
787
13,027
3,904,120
J*r*d retweeted
May 14
This game perfectly encapsulates Gerrard’s career playing alongside lesser players. Three goals conceded due to a ridiculous own goal and two goalkeeping errors, then he balances it out with a great assist, goal and then literally the best fucking goal you’ve ever seen
20 years ago today... 'The Gerrard Final' ✨
16
252
2,556
152,167
J*r*d retweeted
Apr 23
Some absolutely scandalous challenges on Salah here. None given as fouls. Nuts.
Despite a decade of Mohamed Salah being wrestled, pushed, elbowed, tackled, and hardly winning a penalty, he is still the most polite and classy player we have ever seen.
18
224
3,029
110,680
I'll never get over the fact that Joey Gx dropped Outer Space (the best song in the world) 6 years ago then dropped off the face of the earth. Every year I search the internet for any sign of him and find nothing. open.spotify.com/track/4gQKs…
125