chief visionary officer of my FRICKEN life.
Joined July 2014
- Tweets 6,010
- Following 830
- Followers 9,939
- Likes 28,316
471 Photos and videos
john patrick: future president retweeted
May 6
I am a Chicagoan before I am an American
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john patrick: future president retweeted
Apr 16
Ah yes. Some pot smoke. That’s hits the spot… now to be productive- but first, a quick foray to the Wikipedia page for sugar ray
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john patrick: future president retweeted
16 Apr 2022
u all looking soooooo silly rn saying “he will rise.” i LITERALLY watched him get crucified yesterday! no coming back from that dum dum! LMAO imagine having any king but caesar
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john patrick: future president retweeted
Feb 17
This is the interview Donald Trump didn’t want you to see.
His FCC refused to air my interview with Stephen Colbert.
Trump is worried we’re about to flip Texas.
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john patrick: future president retweeted
Feb 9
Still the greatest plot synopsis I have ever heard.
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john patrick: future president retweeted
26 Nov 2024
in october 2021 i had such a transcendently good piece of pumpkin pie w/ a dense texture. i got obsessed with trying to recreate it every fall for the next three years. anyway, i finally nailed it. here's the recipe–pumpkin pie with orange zest and cardamom whipped cream
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22 Nov 2025
joe pesci frankenstein called frankie stein
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22 Nov 2025
a 5’8 frankenstein prob would have been chill with all the villagers. smoking loud instead of screaming at fire. my people are trying to reach out to mary shelly as we speak
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22 Nov 2025
she stein on my frank till I MARRY shelly
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22 Nov 2025
the frankenstein? drop the “the”. it’s cleaner.
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22 Nov 2025
girl just pissed in my shit only toilet. plumber says it’s ruined.
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22 Nov 2025
my buddy ray bradbury just asked me the what temp paper burns at, the mind of a writer is dead ass crazy
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john patrick: future president retweeted
2 Aug 2025
You see lots of guys with a “mom❤️” tattoo never see anyone with a dad tattoo or even better an Unc tat ❤️
like and share if you agree ❤️
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john patrick: future president retweeted
13 Jan 2020
who am i?
what am i doing with my life?
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john patrick: future president retweeted
20 Jan 2020
Half-Birthday Party Announcement
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john patrick: future president retweeted
28 Nov 2020
got free guac at chipotle tonight and i’m gonna ride this high for the rest of my life. all self hatred has left my brain; i’m finally free. i got it for free guys. i don’t even like guac.
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john patrick: future president retweeted
9 Feb 2021
Drivers License - by Olivia Rodrigo by John
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john patrick: future president retweeted
24 Apr 2021
You Raise Me Up - Written by Josh Groban, Performed by John
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john patrick: future president retweeted
30 Nov 2022
Sail - AWOLNATION cover by john
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john patrick: future president retweeted
2 Jul 2021
my wife left me for this man. if you see him please call the authorities.
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