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Johnny Beehner @johnnycomic

linktr.ee/johnnycomic My goal is to make you laugh or at least smile a couple times a day. Oh, and I have 3 great kids.

Joined November 2009
  • Tweets 3,780
  • Following 473
  • Followers 4,718
680 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Johnny Beehner@johnnycomic
1 Feb 2022
Comedian DESTROYS crowd with KILLER crowd work. #comedy #crowdwork #destroy #beehner #standupcomedy
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Didn’t win the damn lottery … AGAIN!!!
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Hacky, overused social media phrases that everyone’s tired of don’t exi-
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I tell my kids not to care about what people think of them, yet I don’t unsubscribe from emails because I worry the company will be disappointed in me.
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My penis fell off today. I’m serious.
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I’m a shrinker, not a stinker.
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Taco Bell’s chili cheese burritos are 2nd to none
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Johnny Beehner retweeted
Aztec Shawnee Theater@AztecShawnee
24 Oct 2024
FRIDAY, Oct 25 @ 8pm 😆👏🤣 😂Comedian Johnny Beehner with 😂Host Zach Favorite @johnnycomic @zachfcomedy 😂👉2️⃣1️⃣21 or older to drink 😂👉👉1️⃣7️⃣17 or older to attend 🎟️👇aztecshawneetheater.ticketsp… 😂Comfy theater seats, full bar 🍺🥤& snacks🍿🍫 in lobby #LIVEcomedy #shawneeks
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“Didn’t you guys used to have a hot tub?” “Nope. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
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Wait a minute, Kamala’s mom’s name is Shamala?? That is pretty funny.
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Not for long, my friend.
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Eat today how you want to shit tomorrow.
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Aw man. I love ya, @KwikTrip , but ya burned me today. I ALWAYS get my creme-filled long john, but today someone put a regular one on the creme-filled shelf. My friday is ruined. 😔
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you ever think you just came up with the funniest bit ever, and so you run it by one friend and based on their reaction, you decide that you made a mistake trying to make a living as a comedian?
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I’m not proud of all my tweets.
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Someone should make a gif of Chewbacca having sex with snuffleupagus.
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#chiefs #SuperBowlLVIII
LELO
@lelo_official
25 Oct 2023
Unleash ecstasy with ENIGMA Wave! 🌊🌟Experience intense blended orgasms using WaveMotion technology. Ride the waves of pleasure like never before! 🌊💫
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No social media post has ever made me change the way I look at time, money, or parenting. #33rdSeoulMusicAwardsinBKK
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There’s got to be at least 2 snowflakes that are the same. There’s way too many for them ALL to be different. I mean, come on!
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Dear hotels, Let’s stop putting mirrors on bathroom doors facing the toilet. It was kinda eye-opening in my younger, more curious days. I’m over it now. Love, Johnny
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Comin to the Caravan! #Louisville
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