Guys, I’m an idiot. All this time I’ve spent trying not to die, I had toxic turf in my backyard. Artificial turf contains crumb rubber infill made from recycled tires, which leaches chemicals including PFAS, heavy metals, and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons. These compounds are linked to hormone disruption, carcinogenicity, and systemic inflammation. I don’t know how I missed it. It makes me question my basic competence in life. What gets me is that I try so hard to survey the world of potential idiocy. Then I find out there’s a monument to idiocy sitting right in front of my face that I was blind to. I’m removing the turf, yet I’m still stuck with this seemingly unsolvable problem of how to not be an idiot.

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