dear boys of sf: please talk to a girl im begging you

it’s absurdly easier as a girl to approach guys and i genuinely wish it were different. when i was trying to find a bf in college, i would literally go up to dudes at the school bar and just say “hi! I’m linda, what’s your name” and that was it. despite the embarrassingly high success rate, i was still incredibly nervous to do it. it gave me a lot of empathy to people who approach. so whenever someone would come up to me, no matter how attractive or awkward they were, i always tried to be kind. i know sometimes we don’t like people interrupting our space. i know sometimes, it makes us feel uncomfortable. but it’s worth remembering: the other person probably feels uncomfortable too. inside, they might be fighting against nervousness, embarrassment, and the fear of rejection. they're just choosing to push past it in pursuit of finding some sort of human connection. It’s my personal belief that people aren’t trying to hurt you. they just want to get to know you. and i think that's worth meeting with a bit of kindness.

how to make ordinary things feel fun: - go to a posh neighborhood and pretend ur rich - buy a pack of dollarstore googly eyes and stick them on random things - go to costco and rank all the free samples dont take yourself too seriously, its not that deep, be silly & have fun

one of the greenest flags in dating is if someone can make the ordinary things feel fun. anyone can be exciting on a rooftop bar. i need to know how you perform in a cvs.

you can tell how interested a girl is by what day she agrees to go on a date with you: - friday/saturday night: VERY interested. prime time slot. good job. - sunday afternoon: good. likes you enough to let the date potentially extend for longer. - monday-thursday night: respectable. still in evaluation phase. - 11am coffee near the office: sorry bro ur on a PIP

places to meet your future wife in sf (fixed): s tier: - arsicault (richmond) - cafe reveille - partner dance class (salsa, bachata) - duboce dog park (bring or borrow a dog) a tier: - fort mason farmer's market - fitness studio (barry's, bodyrok) - little original joe's - dolores park b tier: - arsicault (civic center) - run club - trader joe's c tier - pickle ball - costco food court d tier - balboa (the brunch is actually good lol) f tier - tinder

in the first year of dating my bf, I went home to toronto for 1.5 weeks. it was EXCRUCIATING. 2 hour calls every day, texting like teenagers, insanely dramatic levels of yearning and pining.. it hurt. it is my hope that everyone gets to experience this hurt someday. and when you find it, rejoice in the ache, because it means you finally found someone truly worth missing.

every guy says he wants a low maintenance girl until he dates one and realizes that she doesn't need him very much

fuck yea. bring back the park benches, serendipitous encounters, long walks, spilled coffee, lingering eye contact, and staying up till sunrise. let’s over-romanticize the fuck out of life with reckless optimism, and finally bring love back to this world devoid of its whimsy.

one time i was feeling sad, so i went to a dog park to look at dogs. i did not own a dog. i walked through the gate, sat on a rock next to a girl around my age, and asked her which dog was hers. turns out she didn’t own a dog either. we laughed. then for the next two hours, we talked about our lives, our childhoods, our ex boyfriends… all the things that felt so so heavy at the time. for those two hours, she was my best friend. she made me feel seen, understood, and a little less alone. and i think i did that for her too. then we hugged, never exchanged contact, and never saw each other again. sometimes I think about her. and all the other serendipitous, short, but meaningful connections we can have with other human beings on this earth. genuine human understanding is so so precious. and the willingness to be open to them, is worth protecting, and worth fighting for. so if it takes just a small bit of courage, i think i’ll keep going to dog parks alone.

this is EXACTLY why i tell people that if you want to meet your bf/gf, go do things alone!! being with friends creates a social shield. being alone creates an opening and makes you WAY more approachable (and likely TO approach too). being alone in public is so rare, that simply existing on a park bench by yourself opens a lot more doors than you’d think.

how to use hobbies to improve your social / dating life: 1. spend time doing things you genuinely enjoy. the things that make you happy, the shit that fills your soul. this is your P0, your baseline. 2. try expanding slightly outside your comfort zone. if you like music, try dance. if you like hiking, try climbing. its not about becoming a new person, but about widening your surface area for new interests. 3. find a recurring, social container for those interests. a recurring class. a community. a third space. somewhere people (new and old) show up, week after week. if you can turn your interests into recurring social environments, you'll spend more time doing what you love, while dramatically increasing your chances of meeting some really amazing people.

great take - i think dating with the intent to marry is okay. but if marriage becomes the entire focus, you risk putting people into checkboxes, evaluating them like job candidates, and squeezing out all the magic from the very thing that was supposed to lead to marriage

for big cities that worship optionality, how wildly beautiful it is to choose one person on purpose

maybe im crazy but i think every great relationship requires both people to be slightly delusional about each other you should think your partner is hotter, smarter, funnier, and more capable than everyone else thinks they are. you gotta think they’re extraordinary, that you hit the JACKPOT, that maybe they’re out of your league. you gotta be slightly infatuated, to the point of being in love with their every weird quirk, and giddy at their every little accomplishment. love on its own, is beautiful. but add a bit of delulu, that’s magic ✨

health is really one of those things we only appreciate when we don’t have it. i had a medical procedure and for the last week, i hardly went outside, hardly functioned, and hardly even tweeted!! (very serious, i know..) nothing sucks more than your body feeling sluggish and incapable. if you’re feeling great today, i hope you take a walk, breathe fresh air, and for a second, stop working on b2b saas. our bodies are doing a lot for us, i hope we appreciate it once in a while 🫶

i want to give someone a golden ticket into SF startup life. i don't care how many years of experience you have. i'm looking for an AI-native product engineer who is: - in a committed relationship with claude code - constantly building side projects - insanely curious - moving faster than the people around them - hungry to learn fast and do the best work of their life we'll spend 6 days/week working side-by-side building the future of patient-led healthcare for the 400M people with chronic conditions that modern medicine still fails to solve. i'll cover your relocation to SF and give you unlimited claude credits to automate the software factory of your dreams. DM me your github and some things you've built!

hot take but SF is actually filled with incredibly beautiful people, we’re just too “locked in” to notice. go on a walk, don’t think about work, get some coffee, and smile at strangers, i promise you’ll find some beautiful people

warning: 4 MILFs ahead

AI coding tools ranked by sexiness s tier: - codex - zed - pi a tier: - cursor - devin - claude code b tier: - gemini cli - vs code - cline c tier: - perplexity - copy pasting into the chatgpt ui f tier: - antigravity - claude cowork cringe: - windsurf

programming languages ranked by sexiness s tier: - go - zig - elixir a tier: - c/c - rust - ruby b tier: - python - java - SQL c tier: - php - haskell - scala f tier: - matlab - r cringe: - typescript