@madmunk profile picture
roflhoff @madmunk

Director at FFP. I swear a lot. Influencer. importer of ballbearings. Proprietor of MEGATHREADS. Sometimes draw shit. Part of the John Cooper Clarke Collective

Joined January 2009
  • Tweets 142,629
  • Following 1,315
  • Followers 1,650
19,229 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
roflhoff@madmunk
19 Dec 2019
He’s not normal.
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Are we human, or are we dancer? @zippetey2dah @cybercykosis
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Bored ngl.link/roflhoff

@roflhoff: Send me anonymous messages!

NGL: Anonymous Q&A

ngl.link
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My legal team have advised me that it’s best to not comment 😑
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God: *floods planet* Satan: *suggests eating fruit* Everyone: Satan is evil
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If your Chinese vase has images of female genitalia on it, it's likely to be from the minge dynasty.
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Don't believe the Ronseal claim that "it does what it says on the tin," I've read the small print several times and nowhere does it say, "Makes your fence look like a bull elephant has wiped it's arse on it,"
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ARSENLOL @zippetey2dah @cybercykosis
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PAINT your house number on your bin to make it easier for binmen to leave it outside the wrong house.
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ARNE SLOLT @zippetey2dah
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Make your neighbours think you're Banksy by spraying a huge cock and balls on their garage door.
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I asked the waiter if Fish was one of the specials. He said, “No, he was the singer from Marillion.”
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FOOL your neighbours into thinking ninja turtles have moved into the street by ordering pizzas to be delivered to the nearest drain
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SAVE ALL THE LETTER 'O's from tins of alphabetti spaghetti. After a few months you will have a free tin of spaghetti hoops.
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Download small viruses to your computer to help it build up an immunity.
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roflhoff retweeted
Petey@zippetey2dah
May 24
Replying to @madmunk @stormofquiet
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Sandwiches are great for wiping your arse with, should you need a shit whilst out picnicking.
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As we get into a heatwave in parts of the country; Drug mules and bike skanks, dont forget to blend in with others by dressing top to toe in black with a balaclava and ski goggles. Nobody will spot you are just a no good waste of oxygen feral specimen of society
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Wall painted. Fence put up. BBQ scoffed so now this.
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2 tickets to see Scott Matthews booked 👌
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Residents of council estates, If you leave your kids locked in a car at all today, please ensure you open the windows. At least that way they can still have a cig.
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