Our CFO asked me to "audit" our software subscriptions last week.
He sent me a spreadsheet with 200 rows. Slack, Zoom, Jira, Notion, Trello, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
He wanted me to survey the team to see which tools were essential.
I told him: "Surveys are for people who care about feelings. I care about OpEx."
I deleted the spreadsheet.
Instead, I logged into the corporate Amex portal and reported the card as lost.
Every single auto-renewal in the company failed instantly.
I call this "The Scream Test."
It’s simple Darwinian procurement.
If a tool goes down and nobody runs to my desk screaming within 4 hours? We didn't need it.
The Marketing team was at my door in 10 minutes begging for Adobe. We renewed it. The Sales team was crying about the CRM in 20 minutes. We renewed it.
But here’s the interesting part.
The HR department’s "Employee Wellness & Engagement Portal" ($12,000/year) has been down for six days.
Not a single person has noticed.
I didn't just save money. I quantified the exact value of our corporate culture.
It is zero.
Stop auditing. Start unplugging. If it’s important, they’ll scream. If they don't scream, it’s just noise.