@mattruby profile picture
MATT RUBY @mattruby

Comedian. New special BOLO out on YouTube now. Also: Writer of the Rubesletter and Funny How newsletters. Link below... πŸ‘‡

Joined June 2008
  • Tweets 44,739
  • Following 1,325
  • Followers 4,148
9,481 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
MATT RUBY@mattruby
10 Oct 2025
β€œThe best emailed comedy newsletter coming from anyone today." -Robert Bostick, HumorPoint πŸ“° mattruby.substack.com
1
3
1,544
I dislike podcasts hosted by actors. Can't shake the feeling they're always just pretending to be authentic. If I gotta listen to you for hours, I don’t want theater kid energy. I want Howard Stern.
18
I'm featured in @DEADLINE's excellent "Comedy Means Business" newsletter (thanks to Matt Grobar) today. Link below.
1
24
Check it out here: view.mail.deadline.com/messa…
15
Brunson. KAT. OG. The whole team made me think of this word.
12
MATT RUBY retweeted
Sean Fennessey@SeanFennessey
6h
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

1:31
7
70
2,265
90,976
Normally, I’m the kind of guy who likes to watch the game at home. I actually want to hear the announcers. This Knicks run was different though. I wanted to watch with a group. I wrote about why here: buff.ly/96KrDxy
17
We don’t talk enough about the challenge of loving the Knicks and hating that Alicia Keys/Jay-Z song.
66
Weddings are love karaoke
17
All those guys who keep gambling all the time: Just do drugs. Do. The. Drugs. What you really love is dopamine and, at this point, it’s actually a wiser life path.
1
33
Jalen Brunson is a model of leadership Been sayin' it for a while. If you're looking for the antidote to the manosphere and toxic masculinity, over and over again it's found in the NBA. buff.ly/7zwtJ3c

1
1
31
IYKYKnicks. @jalenbrunson1 ended the pandemic. β€œMy confidence comes from@my work ethic,” he said after the game. O captain my captain. πŸ§‘πŸ’™πŸ§‘πŸ’™πŸ†πŸ€πŸ†πŸ€πŸ† #Knicks #nba #nyknicks #nbafinals #jalenbrunson
38
"I'll put you on the guest list." " 1?" "Nah, -2. You get in free but gotta pay for two other people."
33
Love a good β€œnot” statement: Dinner not island Turkey not for hair Dot not feather
30
Watch my "Substance" special on YouTube. It's about drugs but it's not and it's a comedy special but it's more. buff.ly/5qydoLD

Matt Ruby: SUBSTANCE (2023) - FULL STANDUP COMEDY SPECIAL DOCUMEN...

Watch comedian Matt Ruby perform four sets: one high, one drunk, on...

youtube.com
31
The 2026 NY Knicks: We don't wake up until it's time to close.
29
Y'all act like everyone was cool with Jews before Israel existed.
27
I’m living with a Persian poet so you could say I have a Rumi roomie.
32
My love language is shaking hands while saying, "My hands are wet but clean."
19
Ever spend your entire life seeking validation based on childhood trauma and then realized it decades later but at that point it’s too late so you just say, "Whatever, might as well keep it going"?
18
"notice how they treat the server." nah, now it's how you talk to alexa, chatgpt, or claude after it gets something wrong multiple times that's the true reveal of your character.
32
Load more