extremely loud and incredibly gauche
Joined May 2018
- Tweets 912
- Following 183
- Followers 1,451
- Likes 5,414
75 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
6 Mar 2022
This is fucking unreal dude. Thanks again Doug!
6 Mar 2022
The opener from last night was @maxeddyishere. Very funny kid. Follow him!
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28 Mar 2023
Calvin like "this is how much I'm betting on games this year"
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maximum edward retweeted
22 Jan 2023
Having sex and timing my strokes to the whopper whopper song
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16 Jan 2023
america's got talons. it's just footage of eagles' feets for an hour. fun for the whole family @nbc
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maximum edward retweeted
14 Jan 2023
Corporate Starbucks employees should not be allowed to work from home. If you make people wake up at 4 to make coffee you don’t get to work in your pajamas at 9.
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13 Jan 2023
This WOKE stuff is getting out of control!! They’re changing the name of G-Mail to G-Person!!! I guess it’s non-binary now!!!! I haven’t seen my kids in six year
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12 Jan 2023
to raise money for relief this town should make shirts that say “lemme monteci-doez titties 👀“
12 Jan 2023
"It was really devastating to see your town in that level of destruction." Residents of the California seaside community of Montecito are cleaning up as they brace for more storms.
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7 Dec 2022
the wicked Witch couldnt touch water so she probably smelled like fucking shit
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9 Nov 2022
no one has messed with me since i posted this...kids, it pays to hit the gym 8 days a week
5 May 2022
to you any of haters thinking of rushing the stage at my comedy shows - bring it on. i'm freaking jacked. i watch connor mcgregor and learn from him. i eat salmon. go ahead...make my day
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7 Nov 2022
This is John Lennon’s face at the morgue at best
7 Nov 2022
Beatles super fan: I saw John Lennon's face in a beer and it felt like a sign trib.al/H8ruQsj
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6 Nov 2022
Homeless guy had a sign that said “anything helps, even a smile.” So I gave him a smile. He used it to buy heroin :(
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3 Nov 2022
Girls will have one sock on the floor and be like “omg my room is so messy 😩 “ and my floor is covered in spaghettio’s and I’m like “watch ur step lol”
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14 Sep 2022
petition to refer to the porn industry collectively as "pussywood"
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14 Sep 2022
rip king, hope you got your dick sucked consensually before you passed ❤️❤️❤️
BREAKING: Kenneth Starr, whose investigation as independent counsel led to the impeachment of President Clinton, has died at age 76. nbcnews.to/3ePb8Qr
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11 Jul 2022
finally some good news
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5 Jul 2022
my dude out here just outting Justin Jefferson as a bottom smh
5 Jul 2022
watch how Justin Jefferson (bottom) is able to stay tight on his route break and how he's able to keep his momentum working *forward*.
There's very little wasted motion despite how long his legs are.
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3 Jul 2022
inflation's wild, my 7/11 now has a tray that says "leave a twenty, take a twenty"
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maximum edward retweeted
24 Jun 2022
Republicans are the abusive dad who beats the shit out of you and Democrats are the mom who says “I’m so sorry, this isn’t who he is” and you go “THIS IS EXACTLY WHO HE IS!” and they go “don’t yell at me, do you want me to bring your dad back?”
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22 Jun 2022
waiting in line for a Coinstar machine rn so we’re definitely in a recession lol
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18 Jun 2022
“We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy, but because I am hard” - horny JFK
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