he/they. 25. queer. Chihuahua Dad. Airport Enthusiast. my internal monologue is drowned out by elevator music.

Joined December 2018
148 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Some people think being a writer is like being an all-powerful god. This is false. It's more like trying to babysit a bunch of 10 year olds who are all hopped up on sugar and at least one of them knows how to pick locks.
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college is a fascinating place where occasionally you'll walk by people voluntarily running a booth where passer-by can throw whipped cream in their faces with absolutely zero context on why this is happening anywhere
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22 Sep 2022
Ghost Companions are real in #Stray #PS4share
17 May 2022
customers (derogatory)
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11 May 2022
Honestly at this point I don't mind the customer interaction part of working in a call center, my biggest issue is how management treats the agents like we're all fucking stupid and/or 6 years old. I'm a goddamn adult. Speak to me like it.
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11 May 2022
I don't need you saying "yayyyyyyyy!" in the chat when I answer a question. I need you to pay attention when I have an issue and give me guidance. God. I hate to sound like a fucking boomer but can we PLEASE have some professionalism in here???
things that are accidentally gender affirming - keeping a lactaid pill in my wallet and realizing only when I pull my wallet out at the store in front of the cashier that it kind of looks like a condom 😂 oop
19 Mar 2022
I think I should be a screenwriter for the #TheBatmanMovie sequel and my first request would be to hire @ThePandaRedd to play his character Bill the Henchman. DC & WB feel free to DM me 😂
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19 Mar 2022
stealthing while you get a gender-confirming haircut is something that can actually be so euphoric actually
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15 Mar 2022
Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying (1989). Two-Face's plot has aged very poorly.
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28 Feb 2022
???? Clicked play on S1E1 of "Gotham" on Netflix and it started playing S1E2 of "Stranger Things" - which I haven't even watched in like 3 years???? Go home Netflix, you're drunk
13 Jan 2022
Real Ohioans know that the Amish city Berlin is "BEAR-lin" not "BURR-lin" ✊😔
Max ✌ retweeted
Well, hello there! Finally coming up for air (not literally — I do that every few minutes because ... otherwise drowning) after the hol-eel-days. Merry belated to all of you, dear Swarmers!
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Max ✌ retweeted
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16 Dec 2021
Bad and Naughty Criminals get put in the Punishment Log (Ch.10 of "Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee" by Casey Cep, desc. in alt text)
14 Nov 2021
all three humans in this house are currently sick, but the dog is the one bundled up all cozy on a soft cushion on the couch and wrapped up in the softest blanket we have ...as it should be
My mom during a breakdown last year: I think sometimes you don't even like me! I'm afraid one day you'll walk out the door and I'll never see you again! Also my mom: does not try at all to call me by the correct name or pronouns, makes fun of me when I'm upset, generally an ass
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Like maybe if you were a decent fucking person towards your only child, said child wouldn't have plans to go No Contact as soon as its feasible to do so!
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Aunt that I see MAYBE 2x a year: deadnames me, immediately apologizes and corrects herself My mother, whom I live with: deadnames me at least twice a day and never acknowledges it, gets pissed when I get upset and makes my life hell in return
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