Writer. Vanity Fair/The New Yorker. From MD/DC/VA. Author 13 books/audio comedies. 3 NY Times best-sellers. New audio comedy w/ Chris Elliott coming in 2026!
Joined May 2009
- Tweets 32,229
- Following 12,023
- Followers 10,943
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8,975 Photos and videos
Jun 12
“I’ve never told anyone this before but your balls are simply fabulous.”
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Jun 11
“RANDY does more to explain certain unexpected turns in this nation's political fate over the last couple of years than a bazillion think-pieces in the Times, Atlantic, New Yorker, MSNBC.”
--John Colapinto, The New Yorker
thesonarnetwork.com/stanland…
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Jun 9
RANDY!
Vice: “The year's best memoir is about a man who shot a porno in a Baskin-Robbins.”
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas…
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Jun 8
A real pleasure to live in a country that’s now ruled by the rich summer camp fucks in “Meatballs.”
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Jun 8
It's summer in Ocean City, Maryland, ladies!
Ladies and Gentlemen: It Is Party Time at Club Seacrets! mcsweeneys.net/articles/ladi…
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Jun 3
What will you do When It Happens? As soon as you hear? What’s the first thing you do?
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mike sacks retweeted
🐾 GREAT NEWS: Another 135 beagles are being released from Ridglan Farms this week, and BFP will oversee the placement of 68 of them as they begin their journey to loving homes!❤️
Check out this video from the Ridglan Release earlier this month: youtube.com/watch?v=k3lI5Z_q…
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Jun 2
For my eventual funeral, I was thinking something like this but in suburban Maryland
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Jun 2
Great piece by @luke_winkie
Jun 2
I was in Florida recently and I had to drop by Trump National Doral Miami to see the giant gold Trump statue. It got me thinking apocalyptically about all the different buildings/monuments/arches the president is desperate to engrave his name upon.
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Jun 2
I like pina coladas but I don't like getting lost in the rain. As for making love at midnight, I could probably go either way, to be honest
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