Music, comedy, chips ahoy
Joined November 2010
- Tweets 574
- Following 109
- Followers 110
- Likes 182
12 Photos and videos
27 Mar 2015
Blankety blank is like blank. This comparison is supported by a first reason, a second reason, and a wacky third one!
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20 Jul 2014
I try not to plan out my birthdays too far in advance; I don't know, I kinda just play it by year
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12 Jul 2014
So far this has been one WET, HOT, AMERICAN SUMMER. I really shouldn't be living in the sewers
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9 Jul 2014
There's gotta be a better name for soccer... Shoeball maybe. Toesball? I don't know. We should get someone on it.
3
12 Jun 2014
I wonder if Monopoly secretly owns all other board games...
5
20 Apr 2014
Years and years of cancer research has finally paid off & the answer was so simple!
3
14 Mar 2014
I want to open a spice shop and call it The Kumen Condition.
12 Mar 2014
Do you feel like life is too much? Like you're drowning? First, check to see if you're literally drowning-- it's probably that. #THERAPY
3
12 Mar 2014
When meeting people, the first impression I try to convey is "sex machine."
10 Mar 2014
A zombie in neuroscience class spends the whole time thinking about lunch.
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1
10 Mar 2014
Ever since you broke my heart, everywhere I go, I see your face in the crowd. But maybe that's my fault. Maybe I should stop stalking you.
3
7 Mar 2014
I want to be part of a counter-culture. Preferably granite but I'll settle for quartz.
1
23 Jan 2014
Today when my doctor was checking to see if my throat was swollen I realized it was the most tenderly I've been touched in six months.
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9 Oct 2013
You know how you pick your nose when you think no one is watching? I'm watching.