Haven't had a gay thought since 2017, it's fully resolved.
Joined March 2014
- Tweets 35,334
- Following 921
- Followers 10,147
- Likes 265,513
3,318 Photos and videos
My deviled egg recipe is one ingredient, the egg, because I believe the devil is already in there and you must carve until you set him free.
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Ministry of Earthly affairs
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Nintendo Direct—pure shite. Load of bollocks per usual. Right, that's me down to the pubs.
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Jun 5
Cool ways you can turn down a drink this weekend besides just “No thanks i dont drink”.
- If i drank that, I wouldn’t be able to hold back.
- Sure
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OMG..
The LGBTQ crowd is mad because the Oh Long Johnson is stealing their attention during Pride Month.
😂💀
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May 28
I don't smoke weed because its "gangsta". I smoke it because Im on the clock
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May 28
Low of my day is that my house exploded, killing most of my family, high of my day is the ensuing debris bonesmashed me perfectly into being chiseled and looksmaxxed
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May 27
While Yall shifted from Earnest to ironic, to post-ironic back to earnest again, I was earnest the whole time .
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Yeah -- They got cameras in the waiting room!! 😂😂🔥🔥🔥🙄
~ an @afraidofwasps original ~
"DAMN that's funny"
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May 26
Everything is so beautiful when you have your two weeks notice in… The sky is a sapphire scattering, every drifting cloud 1,000,000 veils lifted by their brides, birdsong goes crazy, It’s all like 9/11 never fucking happened.
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The holy grail of polysubstance dependence is the 7 day rotation. High every day on 7 different, fairly distinct drugs. It allows you to explore the depths of psychological dependence with zero concern for physical dependence. Learned about this from a hairdresser in San Diego.
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May 12
I can level that watching porn is, indeed, “cheating”, in the game of jacking off that is, on account of it makes it too easy.
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May 11
Monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ 12345678910 January february march april may june july august september october november december
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May 11
*Reconciling with my son whose every birthday, ball game, and graduation i either missed or was shitfaced at* Yeah i would say my number one motivator for my sobriety is how disruptive alcohol is to GOMAD
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my dad follows me and im trying to reunite them
May 10
"Oh fuck, it's mothers day. Time to post a photo on my Instagram story from 20 years ago where my mom looks super hot!"
Why do people do this?
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May 11
Step 1 to remaining Calm in any high pressure situation is to consuming 1,000,000 coffee and ensuring your heart beat hirts bad.
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May 8
I always kept great sympathy in my heart for Yoshi and how Mario used him: sometimes as a close friend but other times as a tool to be discarded.
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