things woud go fucking crazy if me and my fellow fujoshi got up to some yaoi Shit

normality gap relationship

bros speak up this connection is ass

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths. Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents. I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself. This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated. I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?" "Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way." "But the store loses." "Yep. On purpose." On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands. In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one. A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir." It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow. I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious. Some prices are not prices. They are promises. I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back. The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars. Long may it spin.

6'1" everyone can see up my nose

A estratégia dos fdp é a mesma a 30 mil anos.

hmm fascinating i think i will memorize this and never use it

imagine general grievous holding your limbs down with four of his arms while he used his feet to unzip his pants

i've kept my accent because the world isn't ready for an australian-yorkshire accent, and it shouldn't have to be

at subway bloke asks me what i want "tuna melt" gave me a look hopped over the sneezeguard chinned me fair play mate

paramedics be like "oh my god today is so stressful ive only done one job and my phone's already at 66%"

kirk yoself my man

david firth's flash animations had such a bizarre calming effect on me as a child

(had no clue about the bombshell truth dropped into my flushing braintoilet) if COURSE i knew, i knew from years ago how could you not?

did you hear? they banned sex. it's all gone now.

back when i lost my legs below the knee i was getting The Talk from the doctor how i'd never do the things i could do before and i asked if id ever play the piano again and he just stared at me