Friday 3:07 AM
Just finished working on the newest Agent for one of our flagship customers at Agenton. After wrapping up, I started reflecting on how this month has been. Honestly, it’s been both one of the lowest and highest months for me.
At the beginning of the month, I was filled with uncertainty, financial stress, and a lot of work pressure. It felt like an endless cycle of putting out fires. I kept wondering what’s my limit? How long can I keep pushing forward?
I’m extremely workaholic. My life revolves around my work. But lately, I’ve been in pain thinking about the results. It felt like no matter how hard I pushed, the earth just wouldn’t move, no visible progress. I got stuck in my own negative thoughts.
One thing I kept thinking about is how, back in school, I never really worked hard. I did the bare minimum, got decent grades, got into a decent university (which I later dropped out of). I always felt that if I had worked harder, I could have done better, maybe that was just a way to console myself.
Now, in my work, I can confidently say I do work hard. I push myself every day to move faster, be more efficient, more thoughtful. But unlike studying, the outcome of my work isn’t directly correlated with my effort. It depends on strategy, timing, and a lot of luck. Honestly, I feel luck plays a bigger role in business than anything else. Of course, you still need to work hard and be strategic but luck has to be on your side. That realization used to feel discouraging, but I’ve started to accept it.
This week, though, things have started to change. Everything seems to be coming together. Projects I’ve been working on for months are finally showing real results. Things I expected are starting to bear fruit. A few new deals and partnerships are also coming through. Even though not much has changed on the surface, that small glimmer of hope has given me new momentum.
I no longer feel down. I’ve been able to spend quality time with my wife while staying deeply focused on my work. Things just feel better now, more enjoyable. I’m no longer feeling the pain; instead, I feel joy, enthusiasm, and energy to do more.
I don’t even know why I started writing this, maybe just to keep it as a memory. There’s no lesson here. But one thing has become clear: being an entrepreneur isn’t just an external game, it’s also a mental battle within yourself. Those who can’t win with themselves can’t win with others.
I know I’ll win, with myself and with others too.