What if you alchemized your aches into devotion

The most securely attached people I’ve known generally don’t need to create too many boundaries with people as far as coming & going is concerned, have a general attitude of “if they want to connect, great; if not, I’m cool and life is plentiful & abundant; if they re-emerge, hi”

Some people stop reading the room when the room indicates something they'd rather not hear

If you've got someone who's warm towards you when there's distance, then when you move closer they back away either actually or just energetically, only to pull back & feel their warmth again, that's disorganized attachment, and that's a dance that's...probably not worth dancing

If you ever find yourself obsessing over another person, that’s an invitation to come back home to yourself again, prioritize your own life, health, pursuits, feelings you’re avoiding If you find yourself obsessing over yourself, that’s an invitation to focus on something greater

Since duty sex is making the rounds on here again: • in a long term container/marriage, desire will ebb and flow for a variety of reasons • there will be times a yes will be a lukewarm yes, not an enthusiastic omg fuck yes. Sometimes we do things we’re not totally stoked about for the greater good, provided we really do feel available for that form of generosity, without compromising our integrity • if one of them is seriously a no, honor it fully, without guilt, with warmth, and with a desire to connect in another way • if someone is a no for longer than a week or two, there’s either health or connection issues that need immediate addressing • both parties need to be empathized with by the other for health of the relationship: the one saying no for whatever reasons, and simultaneously the one whose needs go rejected

I saw this posted on here, apologies for stealing your shit whomever you are I just forgot to make a note. Anyway, fully agree, the final stage of healing is living for others and for something greater than just self, self absorption is literally early childhood psychology

Found myself doing something I knew was objectively bad for me but felt so drawn to it, asked myself “what’s up with the draw toward this? Do I actually secretly want that possible outcome because it would confirm an old narrative, or is this just serving some unidentified need?”

What if—thought experiment—the life of your dreams won’t come—can’t come—until you’ve successfully bought into the premise that it’s already here

Laughter is anti-inflammatory. Crying is regulating. Hugging is immunoprotective. Singing is vagal toning. Dancing is neurogenic. Joy is a biological necessity.

Overlooked skill of maturation: letting a good thing be enough • that meal that was great but you COULD still have more? You’re fine • that peak experience? Don’t go chasing • that brief but warm exchange you had with a love interest? Sometimes the brevity keeps charge alive

Hiked to the secret cold pools of Mount Diablo, I come here every year to get naked in the water, there is never a soul around, additionally I bottle the water and drink it and my body acts like it’s never tasted water before, can’t get enough

Hot take: the ultimate relationship security comes from offering your partner something that’s so fucking good so consistently they wouldn’t even dream of doing anything that compromises security. Which means you need to be A-Game at all times, and attune to when something’s off

Anyone reading this in SF and a member of The Commons? I just got invited to join and decided to try it, why not, looks like a lovely space and cool community, could be a great opportunity

New film photos (Harman Phoenix film)

More double exposures from this recent batch

I love being this archetype so much

New double exposure film photographs I shot last week

I'd rephrase this: "One of the most underrated skills you can learn is the ability to notice all of your moods objectively, discern whether they are signal or noise, and have the ability to either stick with the plan or abort mission, depending on your discernment"

They don’t want you to know that fruit becomes 10x more delicious when you put sea salt on it