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Pinned Tweet
11 Apr 2023
I'm not sure everyone is ready for how unbelievably stupid the next two years are going to be.
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CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
theonion.com/cia-realizes-it…
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
3 Dec 2025
I need an Onion Newspaper subscription so badly but I want it delivered by someone tossing it onto my front porch from the basket of their bicycle as they keep moving forward
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
4 Dec 2025
getting the onion newspaper is worth it alone for the ads
We Won't Allow Savings Like These To Last. Become an Onion Member at 25% off here: membership.theonion.com/?cam…
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
3 Dec 2025
Gonna use this a lot lmao 🤣
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Get more news than your fragile mind can handle. Subscribe today at 25% off.
membership.theonion.com/?cam…
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Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.
Only at The Onion on Youtube here: youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQ….
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Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From theonion.com/trump-spends-en…
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17 Sep 2025
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Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk theonion.com/report-you-to-b…
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
31 Oct 2022
I talked this morning about Elon Musk, his Paul Pelosi conspiracy theory, and how you lose a democracy in the age of the internet.
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4 Sep 2025
No fucking shit buddy.
3 Sep 2025
i never took the dead internet theory that seriously but it seems like there are really a lot of LLM-run twitter accounts now
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
26 Aug 2025
i love holding real news in my hands
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1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers, on our new series, Encircled. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com/tote… today and receive a free tote bag.
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
21 Aug 2025
When new owners took the helm of the Onion last year, they tried to revive the satirical publication by rolling back the publication. Their bet on print is starting to pay off on.wsj.com/4lwGOXj
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Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything theonion.com/conservative-ma…
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follow @bencollins on bluesky retweeted
15 Aug 2025
This bar I was at had a physical copy of the Onion and LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN IT
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