Last week, I went to visit a family friend at her shop, and while we were talking, she called her 7-year-old daughter to get a bottle of Coke from the fridge. The little girl grabbed the bottle, slipped, and dropped it. The bottle shattered everywhere.
As I got up to ask if she was okay, she immediately got up, ignored the broken glass around her, ran out of the shop, and started crying. Her mother was livid. She called her back into the shop to face the consequences and yelled some hurtful words at her.
I helped clean up the mess and asked the child to stay outside because her mom was so upset. Then I asked the mother why she was so angry. She said the girl was too playful. I told her I had been watching and that the child wasnβt playing at all; she simply slipped and fell.
She repeated that the girl was always too playful. I acknowledged that she might be, but that wasnβt why the Coke dropped. I saw what happened: it was clear that she slipped.
I then asked her to try to understand the difference between a child being playful and an accident happening. After all, she could have dropped the bottle, too, if she had slipped. I reminded her that while our children can sometimes be playful, accidents happen, and they are still just kids.
We shouldnβt beat or punish them for every mistake. Sometimes, we need to talk to them instead.
Imagine being so afraid of your parent that you run over broken glass just to avoid being punished. What if she had slipped again and gotten seriously hurt? All over a mistake that could happen to anyone.
I understand that parenting is hard and can be exhausting, but we need to stop taking our frustrations out on our children. Itβs not okay.
She was quiet for most of the conversation because I was upset, too. Later, she wanted to use food as a way of apologizing, asking her, βCome here, I know you are hungry. What would you like to eat?β but I insisted that she talk to her daughter instead. I wanted the child to understand that it was just an accident and to hear from her mother that accidents happen.
Sometimes, thatβs what children need most, not punishment, but understanding.
So, my fellow parents, please and please and please. These kids are just kids. Their brains are just developing, and they need our help, support, and guidance through these stages. Do not blame and punish them for everything.