Joined December 2009
- Tweets 116
- Following 27
- Followers 51
- Likes 3
17 Photos and videos
3 Jul 2013
If girl cannot hear cat call, wave all 10 fingers at her like you're casting a spell on her hot body.
1
12 Jan 2013
@KillinIt247frvr @merxaus i'm back Tuesday but until then, just continue to remind her what a silly guy you are.
Tess retweeted
14 Dec 2012
Get off social media. Find your rep house.gov & tell them what you want them to do. I’m lazy but I did it. say.ly/iGL4MwB
75
1,466
341
4 Dec 2012
”i'm better at granola bars than you.” Said the 4 yr old to the disgruntled babysitter.
24 Aug 2012
Sitting in a giant box of slippers = ikea breaking point @merxaus instagr.am/p/Ouk9YKm2BJ/
1
13 Aug 2012
5 yr old camper tells me about her 4 boyfriends but only remembers the name of one. #simplertimes
1
13 Aug 2012
Choice Market might have a C for sanitation, but they get an A for realness as far as i'm concerned.
7 Aug 2012
@KillinIt247frvr @merxaus you have to blame whoever invented blenders, Kate bush's genius, and Mondays.
15 May 2012
@KillinIt247frvr thnx for the shout out ryry aka razor aka rickety GIFs mcgee
11 May 2012
Post-nap 4 yr olds are smaller versions of post-bender frat boys. They're so mad. They smell like pee. They can't stand up.
2
11 May 2012
I couldn't possibly be the only person who always thought #ff stood for friends forever.
1
8 May 2012
shout out to y'alls: i've changed my handle to something less racist. i'm a new man. a pizzasocks man.
1
5 Mar 2012
@KillinIt247frvr best idea u ever had. craft so hard wicken bitches wanna fine me. that doesn't make sense. help me out @merxaus @elbyH
5 Mar 2012
@KillinIt247frvr u got it. I'll make a big cauldron of the good stuff for all of us after the sunset.
25 Jan 2012
At the airport, seattlites are almost as easily discernible as new yorkers. #isthatracist?