American: So there are terrorists causing problems in your country, right?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: That's terrible. Is the government at least doing something about it?
Nigerian: Well, our president addressed the issue.
American: Oh. What did he say?
Nigerian: He spoke about the law of lawf in the holy book
American: ...The law of love?
Nigerian: I guess
American: Okay. Did you send the military after them?
Nigerian: Hmm... at times.
American: What do you mean "at times"?
Nigerian: Sometimes we've heard the military went after them. In some cases, the terrorists ended up killing military personnel.
American: Wait. They killed your soldiers?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: Okay, so then your government retaliated and finished them off, right?
Nigerian: Mm... nah.
American: What do you mean "nah"?
Nigerian: Well, our president also gave an example from the Bible about the prodigal son on how we should accept them with love.
American: Hold on. The prodigal son?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: I'm confused. So you're telling me terrorists killed military personnel, and the response was a Bible lesson?
Nigerian: Something like that.
American: So you guys aren't doing anything?
Nigerian: No, no. We're doing something.
American: Okay. What are you doing?
Nigerian: We're rehabilitating the ones we catch.
American: You're... rehabilitating them?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: Not prosecuting them?
Nigerian: Not according to our president, no.
American: WTF WTF WTF
Nigerian: I never even tell you anything, you don dey cry