Joined February 2009
- Tweets 16,800
- Following 4,376
- Followers 4,710
- Likes 20,566
2,452 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
26 Oct 2023
My daughter just came up to me in a ski mask and said "give me all your money!"
Then she turned around and said "you look broke, I'll try another house" as she promptly walked away.
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Tiff Tiff Tifferoo retweeted
Media ADHD: "Ooh, look a squirrel! Let's go ride bikes!"
Real ADHD: "I am currently ruining my own life by refusing to perform a 3-minute task that would solve 90% of my anxiety.
I am fully aware of this. I am screaming internally. I physically cannot make my body stand up and do it. And yes it as stupid to me as it is to you.
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I'm not saying I want to find a dead body. But I am saying if somebody was going to find a dead body in the spot where I'm always looking for dead bodies, I wish it was me.
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Tiff Tiff Tifferoo retweeted
The worst candy in the history of mankind is the Runts banana.
There is nothing that comes close.
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For a minute tonight I thought I needed a time machine to take me back to before I had kids. Turns out, I just needed to step outside and browse crochet patterns on Pinterest while inhaling some THC. ๐ฟโบ๏ธ
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Tiff Tiff Tifferoo retweeted
Jun 7
dรฉjร vu is one of those things thatโs way too weird for us to be this casual about
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I have inattentive ADHD and frequent brain fog from Lupus and fibromyalgia.
Two things that help me pay attention to YouTube videos:
1. Chg speed to 1.25x
2. Scroll down to read the transcript as the video is playing. This one is mostly when I'm trying to learn something. ๐ฅธ
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Sharing just because I get excited about anything that works to help me focus or absorb information better. And I enjoy learning what works for others.
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If we had a superhero named Waffle Man, do you think his whole body would be a waffle or like a regular superhero body with a waffle for a head?
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Good news/bad news: you'll never get to read all the mind-boggling observations I save to drafts because I don't feel like editing to fit the word count. I've got some real bangers in there.
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I unfollowed a local realtor on tiktok because his slacks are too tight and in every video he has a huge phablet in one front pocket and wallet/keys just straining to escape the other front pocket and it's just like..I can't trust you now dude. Ridiculous.
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Like some level of critical thinking is missing there, right? To look goofy when you know your whole thing is looking slick on the Tok to sell houses? Take the stuff out of your pockets, man.
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My microwave can make four baked potatoes at once, but I'm to believe two Hot Pockets shan't be attempted??
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Side note: Hot pockets are still disgusting. I don't know why I bought these. Perimenopause is weird.
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I hope Boom Clap Charli XCX and current day Charli XCX are still friends.
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I get jump-scared multiple times a day by my guinea pig drinking water more loudly than expected.
So, yeah. That's me.
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Just overheard, from my 12 year old:
"Seriously, are we still aura-farming? In the BIG two-six?"
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Tiff Tiff Tifferoo retweeted
May 31
periods should be 45mins max. release the egg and get tf outa my face
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Pauly Shore walked so Adam Sandler could run. I'm not wrong.
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