did something good happen
Joined July 2023
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I thought about how I told my therapist back in my youth psychosis program that I feel really bad when I see unclothed women and it makes me regress and it makes me want to kill myself and she implied I was gay and I mumbled something about her being pretty and she giggled
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Never conflate being hurt or abused with love, it does not have to be that way. You can be loved in the purest way without going through that. No one deserves to be hurt and used just for a semblance of care. You can have all the bad things you want while being loved before that.
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Yes. Itβd be because I want to, not because itβs the only way for you to be loved. If someone has to hurt you to make you love them, it is a false foundation. If I was an octopus, my arms would hold you before they slithered under your eyes. My harm matters because I held; hold
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βYou remind me of Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Seaβ
βI would not have forgot to check the safety before shooting myself in the head after taking the policemanβs gun in the police stationβ
βI knowβ
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Jun 13
Meet me in the break room thenβ¦? and lock the door behind you. Iβve turned all the cameras off. Iβm playing Mario Kart World as Rosalina and watching Gilmore Girls in the corner
My coworker losing his damn mind
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Jun 13
I would play as Diddy Kong in his iconic βSneeker Kart,β however, steel my broken heart, he is nowhere to be found in the newest Mario Kart game. He is likely preoccupied eating bananas in the jungle
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Jun 12
Your adoptive daughter being killed by her father being used as a stairwell by people online to prop themselves up by making a Raising Caneβs mukbang True Crime gossip drama (for profit) video for their audience of UCLA ABGs
Jun 12
why is there food
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Jun 12
Yes, I know, do not remind me
Jun 12
π¨: Study reveals that the sperm cells carry biological ECHOES of a father's stress, particularly from childhood trauma
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Jun 11
βAnd I know I could contort to bypass every way I could harm their development from being like this, my efforts would cross any distance. I worry that being in a romantic relationship implies, insists a warmth and/or humanity in which I was intentionally raised to thrive withoutβ
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Jun 11
You do not seem to understand that my basis is without love as I was raised in complete isolation without my parents present. This does not matter to me. My self actualization has not once been contingent on anyone except for myself. I was not given a choice. I hope you are loved
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Jun 11
Iβd rather the empty spaces where you should be than the frivolous void embodied by others
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Jun 11
She would let me do horrible things to her because she knows I would not. She knows I am capable of a harm more grievous than any ever could, and I consciously do not.
βViolence withheld is a love given.β She thinks about this, she shifts in bed, and she thinks of me
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Jun 10
May my sentiment wrote through one eye before closed to the sole who knew me before I became like this let you see closer to me for almost and less than a second and not more than a second longer
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