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retsoor @retsoor

tremendous savings: linktr.ee/retsoor retsoor.substack.com @BennMFA_Writing ‘25 @GuidingLightFM @teepeerecords @wellhope

Joined February 2008
  • Tweets 34,509
  • Following 876
  • Followers 4,550
747 Photos and videos
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retsoor
@retsoor
21 May 2017
trebek: to comfort one another as time slowly murders our bodies contestant: what is the point
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nervous breakdown breakdown: a notification on one device about a low battery notification on another that was notified you were noticed in someone’s mentions
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dreamt: “select all” was banned in 23 nations
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
terrifying if real: total coincidence
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real if terrifying: the internet of things
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an app that replacing every “t” with a “c” in the word “streaming”
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poetry that writes itself argues w advertising represents you in court lights up the internet of things whenever the poet passes
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 15
honk if it’s not over until you cry uncle (whose name is bob)
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 15
honk: if italians comfort eat for a reason your heroes, ghosts who cheer your murder on while you exchange a walk on part in a war for a lead role in a cage hot ashes for trees hot air for a cool breeze cold comfort for change when gravity sets us free honk if “what” is the point & your yearbook quote because nuns rejected: “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog” & when they told you, you asked “what?” because you never owned a dog & you never stop asking
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 15
mitch hedberg [to god]: here, you throw this away
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
“surprise party” wanting candy while eating candy acting crazy so the subjects of your short story can be famous while you practice restraint self righteous battery that dies if you vape too much the real reason everyone acts so nervous around you de ja vu of a total coincidence audio file written in rhyming code chem trails that spell out your PIN pinball machine depicting our wedding photo
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retsoor retweeted
Cheshire Adams@cheshire_adams
Jun 14
Replying to @AubrynMusic
@AubrynMusic Do you still haunt this site, Mad Libbing friend?
retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
honk if: unfettered creativity is not a◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ you get ◼️◼️◼️◼️ just thinking about ◼️◼️◼️ you don’t need ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ apps because of ◼️◼️◼️ ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ for ◼️◼️◼️◼️ should be your ◼️◼️◼️ job ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ me, ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
nervous spokesperson: we always kill our idols bored victim: go on
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
honk if you suffer from: boundary less horrors excessive personality disorder unfettered consciousness exceptional failures lethal humors wicked compassion empathetic violence peerless introspection murderous contentment content sexuality passionate irrationality
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
honk if: unfettered creativity is not a◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ you get ◼️◼️◼️◼️ just thinking about ◼️◼️◼️ you don’t need ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ apps because of ◼️◼️◼️ ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ for ◼️◼️◼️◼️ should be your ◼️◼️◼️ job ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️ me, ◼️◼️◼️◼️◼️
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
that a hallmark of long form slop is semi-reasonable content in the beginning with rapidly diminishing returns
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 14
honk if twitter (x) no longer has a search function
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retsoor
@retsoor
Jun 13
honk if you’re watching raspberry juice bloom down your smoothy while your mother describes your father’s brain hemorrhage
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