kind of got dead fish eyes
Joined June 2022
- Tweets 5,484
- Following 232
- Followers 104
- Likes 10,233
371 Photos and videos
Jun 12
you'd think i'm on the phils payroll the way i break down roster moves in the office
Jun 10
The Knicks celebs act like they’re on the team it is incredibly weird
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crustacean retweeted
Jun 11
Kruk subtweet honestly
Jun 11
No gay man will ever sound as homoerotic as a happily married, heterosexual baseball analyst in his mid-50s describing the well-muscled quads and powerful glutes of a recently-promoted outfield prospect
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Jun 12
another night of sweating so much in my sleep i had to make sure i didn't just piss
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Jun 12
frontier is hiring former wardens to watch your bag sizes. u bastards are always delayed with paper thin seats where is the damn $90 going to
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Jun 10
people from the philly suburbs love to say "when you're done this" instead of "when you're done with this"
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Jun 8
why the hell is missouri hosting world cup games people in missouri don't even want to be there
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crustacean retweeted
andrew painter:
Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled
theonion.com/little-league-p…
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Jun 7
i was on the marta before i had a smart phone. u are a massive pussy
Jun 6
Ngl riding the metro in Atlanta is a bit scary. If any of you guys are going to a game there, I’d probably recommend getting an Uber instead.
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Jun 7
used three washers at the laundromat my shorts are too big i'm sweaty and i've seen an electric scooter. wrap it up
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Jun 5
i get elbowed too damn often by people recording shitty videos to listen to u cry about hating no phone policies ! u bums don't even go anywhere
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Jun 5
do y'all not lock your doors
Jun 5
TDIL that in Cornwall they've had problems with American tourists walking into houses and having a picnic in people's back gardens because they didn't believe people actually lived there and they were at a theme park/museum 😬
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crustacean retweeted
it took four years but nick castellanos has finally embraced the culture of philadelphia (being hot and unemployed in your thirties)
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Jun 2
"ugh u have to work on ur birthday?" im making everyone i see tell me happy birthday or else. i love attention more than i want time for myself
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