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Allison Robicelli @robicellis

Food/bev/travel writer & humorist | words in WaPo | Substack food pornographer | Moved my brand of bullshit to IG stories (at) allisonrobicelli

Joined October 2008
  • Tweets 74,125
  • Following 2,726
  • Followers 14,279
4,206 Photos and videos
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING
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The hardest part of dealing with the loonies is being reminded exactly how dumb too many people are.
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Ignoring Twitter has been incredible for my mental health, so obviously I'm toying with the idea of jumping back into this shitshow. Please talk me out of this.
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On one hand, I really fucking miss you guys. On the other, UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Allison Robicelli retweeted
Post Food@WaPoFood
3 Nov 2023
How to build a nonalcoholic bar so everyone feels included, from @robicellis. wapo.st/3QIX7UZ

How to build a nonalcoholic bar so everyone feels included

Because no one should be relegated to drinking just water or Diet Coke at a gathering.

washingtonpost.com
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@LauraMLippman Lost all my contacts and need you to text me -- this is tomorrow night, and I need another excuse to wear my fur coat!
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I want you to know I downloaded this accursed app to my new phone specifically to tell you this so if you don't text me back there shall be a pox set upon your household.
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Don't have high hopes that anyone will see this since business genius has kneecapped my reach, BUT if we're friends IRL, please shoot me a text as my phone was stolen on a press trip and I no longer have my contacts. This is what I get for attempting to relax. LESSON LEARNED.
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Also don't need any advice on recovering contacts etc etc etc because trust me I've already tried everything and contacted everyone. It'll take many, many days to fix and I honestly do not have the time or emotional energy to deal with this brand of bullshit right now.
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I’m over at Bluesky now and have a few invites. Find a way to amuse me and one of them could be yours!
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Went to see @enditbchc, H2O, Judge and @OFFICIALSTIG last night and the best part about it was this pit-adjacent baby.
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By god I AM back!
Thack@DaveThackeray
2 Oct 2023
By god @robicellis is BACK. Get more. Much, much more. lakenipples.substack.com/sub…
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I bought @TheFrownies. I expected them to be bullshit. THEY’RE NOT. After night one the lines between my eyes were almost gone, and when they came back by the end of the day, they were faint as fuck. Think this is day five and I can’t believe how well these things work.
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But the REAL story here has nothing to do with fine lines—it’s that the constant tension headache between my eyes is GONE. These are retraining the muscles in my brow to stay permanently relaxed, so no more pain from squinting and no more daggers between my eyes!
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If you’re a writer or are in any profession that involves you staring at a screen all day, 10/10 recommending @TheFrownies. Truly cannot believe the pain has been gone for nearly a week now and hasn’t come back. Small price to pay for sleeping with stickers on your face.
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Newest Lake Nipples chapter is currently in inboxes! If you haven't subscribed yet, better get on that. It's quite possibly the only Substack worth reading, and not just because it has doughnut recipes and hardcore sex scenes! (But mostly that.) lakenipples.substack.com/p/c…
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Oh cool my work was used to train the robots, too. Does this mean I'm safe from Roko's Basilisk? Or does it mean I get to be a part of a class action lawsuit?
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Going to a concert in DC on Saturday and found out it ends one hour after the last train back to Baltimore. Refuse to pay for a hotel, so me and the boys are planning an all-night adventure. What's there to do in DC when you're killing time from midnight til 10am?
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ARTSCAPE FUCKING WEEKEND.
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@LisaESnowden I need you to process this with me.
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I’m on a press trip in Grand Rapids, Michigan with big plans to visit Gerald Ford’s grave, which is the sort of thing I USED to be able to live tweet but can’t anymore because this place sucks now, so if you want to follow my wacky adventures you need to follow my IG stories.
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All I want to do is post about Gerald Ford’s grave without getting attacked by Nazis and this shouldn’t be too much to ask.
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Also no one sees my tweets anymore so THANK YOU SUPREME BUSINESS GENIUS.
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