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RobotRowboat™ @robotrowboat

Greatest Hits: tinyurl.com/4hvkx69y

Joined April 2009
  • Tweets 18,260
  • Following 273
  • Followers 6,965
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RobotRowboat™@robotrowboat
7 Nov 2017
If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.
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How about we all show a little hustle in crosswalks this year folks
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first hotcake salesman to quickly sell out of hotcakes: I have no idea what these things are selling like
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@TheAndrewNadeau no one knew
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ooo-weee-ooo I look just like Buddy Hackett
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thank you for not bringing anything to my attention
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I'm a lover pilot not a fighter pilot.
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if anyone happens to see Donna today please tell her she can fuck right off
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the clash: should I stay or should I go now? me: what'll happen if you go? the clash: there will be trouble me: and what'll happen if you stay? the clash: it will be double me: well I'm no genius but the answer seems pretty obvious to me
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no one named Kevin has ever done anything worthwhile
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If you don't do the little wave when I graciously let you merge, I hope your car explodes as soon as you're a safe distance away from me
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Every parent's worst nightmare is their child telling them that their favorite dinosaur is the brontosaurus.
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For sale: baby. Keeping shoes.
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I see London, I see France. I see your crippling insecurities.
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in the US it's called meth. in the UK it's meths.
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[stops cutting toenails] leaving?? but we haven't even gotten our entrees yet
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This heat calls for a Panera murder drink
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I would tell ya but then I'd have to kiss ya 😉
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I fucken knew it
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I wish I loved anything half as much as uber drivers love black ice air fresheners
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the words "history" and "buff" don't belong together, nerd
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it's not even 10 and I'm already way too fricked up on Gary's Hard Milk
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